10 things Real Madrid can look forward to with Juande Ramos

Posted by - December 10, 2008 - Lists

A guide to the coming season for Real’s players

1. Baby food
Once Ramos gets his nutritional regime in force he is sure to welcome Antonio ‘Dr Baby Food’ Escribano to his backroom staff to feed Real’s players on his mushed up vegetables and vitamins. Shame Ronaldo isn’t back at the Bernabeu to feel the benefit.

2. Trying out new positions
As we jested this morning, Ramos’ tactics had some Spurs fans scratching their heads. Don’t be surprised to see Rafael Van Der Vaart moonlighting at left-back or Guti as goalie.

3. Double Ramos pranks
Real’s jokers will be able to wait until Juande and Sergio are side-by-side, shout “Ramos”, and wait for the double-barrel “Si”.

4. Colombo, not a German pornstar
They have traded in a Deutsch blue movie wannabe for one of TV’s best-loved sleuths. That has got to be a good move.

5. More defeats
The losing mentality was the main reason Schuster was shoved out of the door, so it is difficult to see how Ramos is going to address that given the start to the season he endured at Spurs.

6. The Juande = one day jokes
Granted they are not quite so funny in Spain.

7. His supercool website
The very same website which informed us two days ago: “Juande Ramos is now living in Madrid after spending the last 12 months coaching in the Premier League in England. The coach returns to Spain with the aim of enjoying football from a different perspective and hopes to begin an exciting new project soon, without ruling out a return to English football.” Not so cryptic in hindsight, eh?

8. Spurs rejects
And not just the man himself. The rumour mill is already predicting January moves for David Bentley and Aaron Lennon.

9. Fitness training

The Real boys can probably forget their galactico trimmings for now. Ramos is likely to base his attempts to steer them in the right direction on fitness ethics.

10. Didier Drogba
Apparently, the Chelsea man is Ramos’ number one target, but then again if his other targets are David Bentley and Aaron Lennon it is not really surprising that Drogba is number one.