Top 10 current fat footballers

Posted by - March 9, 2009 - Lists

Following Ronaldo’s comeback goal OTP salutes the players who, in the age of nutrition, diet, and cardiovascular thingamajig, still haul their huge frames round a football pitch!

1. Andy Reid
Reid has to take top spot though for being a fat, skillful winger in the Premier League era. We have stocky strikers aplenty, but Reid is doing his thing in the position traditionally reserved for the fittest person on the pitch.

2. Ronaldo
Not so much a fat boy come good as a good boy turned fat. Injury problems and waning motivation have seen football’s former golden boy pile on the pounds for a number of years. His weight issues have now reached comedic proportions. Back in training with Corinithians, he has lost a bit of his gut but it has taken three months and you suspect he is now heading towards an age where it is going to be really tough to shift. Still, he’s scoring goals again.

3. Mark Viduka
The Aussie striker has turned the use of his considerable arse into an artform. For almost a decade now he had planted it in front of Premier League defenders creating an obstacle too large for them to go round and providing him with enough time and space to score plenty of goals.

4. Dean Windass
Windass has always been a big-boned lad and, unlike some in this list, at least has the excuse that he is pushing 40. But nonetheless, the Hull City striker has proved he is more than capable of filling the goal during his loan spell at Oldham Athletic.

5. Adriano
Another Brazilian star who looked destined to stroll down the one-way chubby party boy road. He has looked in serious danger of actually getting his act back together in recent weeks. Oh well, we will always have the memories/mammaries.

6. Tom Huddlestone
The Spurs man has lost some of the weight that he was carrying a couple of years ago, but he still deserves credit for forcing his way into a Premier League side as a fat kid.

7. Jon Parkin
Nicknamed ‘The Beast’ and you don’t need to be a dietician to see why. The current Preston North End striker has carved a career out of being a tough-to-handle targetman, and what a target!

8. Ronaldinho
Not the fattest player in the world, but lacks the big-boned defence of some candidates. The photographic evidence of his weight gain has been pretty difficult to dispute.

9. Wayne Rooney
Naturally stocky, Rooney’s weight has visibly fluctuated throughout his career. Sometimes he is well-built, sometimes he is overweight. Expect a Maradona-esque gut when he finally hangs up his boots and stops the daily training sessions.

10. Sylvan Ebanks-Blake
The Wolves striker is expected to be throwing his weight around in the Premier League next season one way or another, and quite some weight it is too!

Have we missed you favourite fatty? Let us know below.

  • Ala

    Lookalikes – Tom Huddlestone and a Fridge.

    And just imagine if Andy Reid were thin, he might have done better in his career.

  • Sunny

    What about bucket-arse Neil Mellor?!

  • david

    Dundee United’s Collin Samuel arrived at MLS’s Toronto having eaten every last pie ever. After one season, he was sent back to Scotland where he plays for St Johnstone.

  • Alex D

    Rooney, Ronaldinho, and Adriano are fast and good enough for the extra baggage to not matter.

  • Mia

    Tomas Brolin (Parma). One fatty you missed 😀

  • Ciaran

    anderson should be on this list!