Bless you, Lukas

Hitting your team-mates is not a good idea. It tends not to make you too many friends in the dressing room. The exception to this rule is when the team-mate you decide to hit is Michael Ballack. Lukas Podolski stayed within the parameters we have just set out when he gave Ballack a cheeky slap round the chops during last night’s match between Germany and Wales.

Podolski said: “Sometimes these things happen on the pitch. For me, the matter is closed and have been dealt with. Anyone can see I am a player who sometimes shows emotion, but I don’t clear these things up in public. We are professional enough to discuss these things in private.”

We will put it down to the close proximity of Craig Bellamy!