Trash talk of the Toon: Alan Shearer and Joey Barton ruck, but keep the language relatively mild

Posted by - May 5, 2009 - Newcastle United, Oddballs

Magpies continue to deal in low-level insults
shearer-barton

Newcastle United fans have had to watch some embarrassing football this season, but they have also had to listen to some equally embarrassing trash talk. Remember Steven Taylor’s spat with Cristiano Ronaldo? That really got personal.

And now Alan Shearer and Joey Barton have gone head-to-head (literally) for a playground slanging match of their own. The Sun quotes a Newcastle insider as saying: “It was unbelievable. They were like two stags. Shearer told Barton he had made a mistake putting him back in the team, that he thought Barton was good enough to do it but he had shown he wasn’t.

“Joey shouted at Alan that he was the best player at the club, which was why he had to play him. Alan said he wasn’t, called him s*** and Joey replied that he was a s*** manager with s*** tactics.”

Given that The Sun has starred out the offensive words, OTP challenges you to replace the stars with letters that at least make the trash talk witty or funny. And we’ll let you have the odd extra letter if you need it in the name of humour.

  • http://www.offthepost.info Rob Parker

    I’ll get the ball rolling…

    Alan said he wasn’t, called him sexy and Joey replied that he was a Spar manager with shop tactics.”

  • Deano

    Alan said he wasn’t, called him SHOLA and Joey replied that he was a SOHO manager with SMUT tactics.”

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chrissy-Marie-Rockwell/10904317 Chrissy Marie Rockwell

    Alan said he wasn’t, called him Sally and Joey replied that he was a sissy manager with (nut) Sack tactics

  • Safety

    Alan said he wasn’t, called him shot and Joey replied that he was a sham manager with shed tactics.”

  • hollis

    “Joey shouted at Alan that he was the best player at the club, which was why he had to play him. Alan said he wasn’t, called him seditious and Joey replied that he was a sanctimonious manager with surreptitious tactics.”

    The Sun would obviously have to star out said words as none of their subscribers understand anything more than guttural grunts and chest slapping. If they’d have not used the stars the words stupid, soddish and silly would’ve appeared thus furthering the misconception that all footballers are simpletons.

  • http://www.dirtytackle.net Brooks

    Here’s my submission for how the rest of the conversation went:

    http://www.dirtytackle.net/2009/05/dt-exclusive-geordie-bust-up/

  • http://www.offthepost.info Rob Parker

    Excellent. Keep ’em coming, folks.