If you’ve got £100 million and a Hotmail account, Magpies could be yours
Newcastle owner Mike Ashley has proved once and for all that he has less class than the knee-high white Donnay socks he flogs at Sports Direct by putting the club up for sale by email. A statement on Newcastle’s official website (talk about washing your dirty linen/Donnay sports socks in public) informed visitors that they too could bid for the club by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org or contacting Keith Harris at Seymour
Desperation Pierce. As far as we know, bids made to Orville will not be accepted.
As you can see, Newcastle’s adserver delivered a beautiful immediate response to the statement, albeit in Spanish. The internet is already rife with examples of some of the emails rival fans have taken delight in sending to the email address. Read some of the best emails reported to have been sent and add your own after the jump.
“I would like to lodge an official bid to buy NUFC. The amount I am offering is £10. Should I be successful, I will be appointing myself as team manager, as I am currently in a management role in the Peterlee Sunday League.”
“The amount I am offering is 2 x upper concourse seats for the Oasis concert at the Stadium of Light and a Curly Wurly.”
“I’d like to bid £325 to buy Newcastle. Thanks, Jimmy Nail.”
“I would like to make a formal offer to buy Newcastle United football club. Unfortunately, given the current chaotic state of the club, as a result of the shambolic management practices of Mr Ashley’s regime, I think you have set the price too high. My financial backers inform me that an offer of £50 pounds is about the correct evaluation. Of course, I accept that given the history of the club, its marvellous fan base and potential future earnings that this offer might seem a little low. However, you must realise that your current regime has put all of this at risk, and continues to make the club a laughing stock. Good jokes, even from the best comedians, are not that expensive.”
And the best you’ve got?