1. An end to the Cristiano Ronaldo transfer saga. One way or the other. Either go or come out and say the final answer is that you don’t want to go.
2. Rafael Benitez and Sir Alex Ferguson indulging in pre-season Facebook mind-games. Twitter would be fine too.
3. Phil Brown conducting a pre-season training session in a shopping centre in a bid to be innovative.
4. Manchester City chasing anyone who has ever been featured on the front cover of Four Four Two and still having the same squad at the start of next season. (Has Gareth Barry ever been on the front of Four Four Two?)
5. Jose Bosingwa enquiring about the price of an eyebrow wax.
6. Theo Walcott not to be struck down by a mystery hamstring injury on the eve of the European Under-21 Championship.
7. A decent Confederations Cup.
8. Marouane Fellaini sunbathing on a beach next to his hair.
9. Mike Ashley trying to buy another football club, and the subsequent riots.
10. Cristiano Ronaldo holidaying in some sensible sized swimming shorts.
What are your footballing hopes for the sunny months?