Football on the moon? Expect Stoke City to flourish

Posted by - July 20, 2009 - Oddballs, Stoke City

German news agency ponders moon football

It is football’s silly season and one news agency has filled the gaping holes in its editorial content by investigating the possibility of football being played on the moon. Deutsche Welle’s findings suggest Stoke and Bolton could be just a short spaceship journey from football domination.

The article states: “In comparison, the moon has one sixth of the earth’s gravity. That would have amazing effects: What might be a neat 60 m cross on Earth could easily turn into a 350 meter volley up on the moon. The ball could reach a height of 50 meters – and it would stay up in the air much longer.”

Run-of-the-mill stuff for Britannia Stadium regulars. You also have to wonder precisely how long Rory Delap’s long throw would be up there!

The article continues: “When the ball hits down into the thick moon dust, lots of energy would be lost – the bouncing effect would be far less pronounced compared to the bounce on the hallowed turf of the terrestrial world cup. Tough for dribbling wizards like Ronaldo or Ballack: there’s no atmosphere on the moon, and they couldn’t rely on their swerve. Little artistry with lunar football and a very different aesthetics.”

So the ball is going to be in the air for long periods, dribbling is virtually impossible. This sounds like Tony Pulis heaven. If only… oh, hang on: “There’s no air, which means there’s no medium to carry sound. So no one will hear the ref’s whistle. For once: No wrong off-side whistles, no irritating interruptions of the lunar match while the thrill of the game is at it’s climax.”

No referee’s whistle. Stoke City – Lunar Champions League winners 2022?

  • stoke

    What a complete load of garbage – Who wrote the article ?? Orange Phil Brown ??

  • http://oatcake dave

    Rob Parker I can see why you are on this stuck on this website
    Crap article and you know it

  • Charlie

    I’m a Stoke fan and I find it funny.

    Lighten up!

  • stokey

    Total codcrap

  • clayhead

    what a crock of shite end of …..

  • http://hullfc phil brown

    rob parker sucks cock for rock.

  • Louwrens

    Whoever wrote the original article needs to take a long, hard look at their life. Pointless crap.

  • fred west

    funny cunts!!!

  • Riccy

    What a load of utter trash!

  • andie

    Yet another “Stoke” piece written by someone who has never seen us play.

    Lazy, stereotyping and very poor “journalism”.

    You need to get to a few games and stop judging teams based upon teh 5 minutes you get to see on Match of the Day.

  • JT

    What a cock!

  • Tanuj Lakhina

    lol this also means no vuvuzela bothering! 😀

  • Greg

    Problem, if there are no offside calls Adebayor is going to score 1 million goals. and he will not be able to hear the Gooners booing him