How do you spell that, son?
Everton have completed the signing of Russia midfielder Diniyar Bilyaletdinov from Lokomotiv Moscow for an undisclosed fee. The 24-year-old has returned home to complete a visa application ahead a five-year deal at Goodison Park.
It is not yet clear whether the transfer is intended to propel the Toffees to Manchester City’s spending levels via pay-per-letter replica shirt personalisation.
Completely fictional but could be true stat of the day: Bilyaletdinov favours the number 63 shirt because that’s how many syllables are in his name.