Fergie releases his inner stalker
Sir Alex Ferguson is said to be embarrassed after a private letter he sent to Standard Liege’s Steven Defour via his club was leaked. The Manchester United boss had clearly decided to roll out the Ruud Van Nistelrooy Method, whereby he cuddles up to injured players to put himself in the driving seat to sign them when they regain fitness.
The letter read: “Dear Steven, I have just heard about your injury and in the name of Manchester United I would like to wish you a full and speedy recovery. I am sure at the moment you must be feeling awful and that you’ll have all kinds of questions. Steven, these are natural worries but I have to tell you that modern medicine is incredible. Don’t worry, everything will work out. I am going to follow your performances. I will remain in contact with Standard.”
As far as we can tell, Defour is set to be out until January with a broken metatarsal. A metatarsal injury is pretty much an occupational hazard for the modern footballer, so Fergie’s insinuation that this is a matter of life and death is a bit over the top. The injury is not even anywhere near as serious as Van Nistelrooy’s knee injury was last time Fergie pulled this trick.
Given the histrionics that follow, his wording “in the name of Manchester United” make it seem that Defour’s horrendous flesh-eating illness is so bad that he has been forced to use the name of his own football club in blasphemy.
There is then a short Powerpoint presentation on advancing surgical techniques, before Fergie signs off with his stalker section of the letter.
Given that the letter was sent to the club, he can hardly be accused of tapping-up. More like hammering-up, perhaps. If he is to prove us wrong, OTP reckons it is only fair for him to write to all footballers who pick up metatarsal injuries and may be unaware of the wonders of modern medicine.