I hate football!
The angry rant of a mildly disgruntled QPR fan
This hilarious, if worryingly accurate, rant on the state of football is doing the rounds (thanks to Russ Anderson for sending it our way) after being posted on an internet forum by a QPR fan.
He rants: “I take more pleasure in seeing Chelsea lose than I do in seeing QPR win at the moment. I sat through so many matches when we were absolute dog**** under the likes of Ray Harford and with people like Paul Bruce, Matthew Brazier and Mark Perry in the squad and I never felt like this.
The club isn’t ours anymore but moreso than that – football is just properly gash these days. I mean really gash.
football generally. I hate nearly everything about it these days….
I hate the Prem and the myth that it is exciting this year. Man City breaking into the top four isn’t exciting. They spent loads of money. It’s no more exciting that Nameless **** getting to number 1 in the charts after winning the X-Factor.
I hate the myth of Arsene’s kids. Buying some French kid when he’s 17, playing him in the League Cup and then selling him when he’s 20 after about 3 appearances in the league is NOTHING SPECIAL.
I hate hearing about Liverpool/Man Utd’s debt but nothing ever happening about it. A club needs to go to the wall for the money thing to change but it doesn’t happen. Why the **** are Charlton, Leeds and Southampton still in business?
I hate Frank Lampard’s stupid ****ing face. I hate John Terry being England captain when he’s CLEARLY AN OAF.
I hate young exciting wingers who have nothing but pace. Tony Scully had nothing but pace.
I hate Harry ****ing Redknapp. And Jamie Redknapp. And Louise Redknapp. And the Wii.
I hate Gary Lineker and Alan Shearer.
I hate Garth Crooks.
I hate Garth Brooks a lot for that matter.
I hate Sky Sports.
I hate that when a lower league player beats 10 players and chips the keeper it doesn’t matter but if Rooney scores from more than 20 yards it’s amazing.
I hate that female sports journos are now mandatory.
I hate Mark Lawrenson for not coming out. ‘I do like a big man at the back’. I bet you do.
I hate any advert that portrays football to be about anything other than pain and disappointment.
I hate Lee Hughes and the fact that he makes a living from the game. I hate Marlon King and any team that signs him when he gets out. I hate that it’ll probably be us.
I hate Phil Brown.
I hate ‘well the ball is a lot lighter now and will cause goalkeepers real problems this summer’ before EVERY ****ING TOURNAMENT!
I hate that Kieron Dyer earned more in the time I took to write this post than I’ll earn this month.
I hate Adrian Durham, Ian Wright and Alan Brazil.
I hate Gazza. Either die or shut up. Stop ****ing lingering.
I hate Leeds.
I hate Roy Keane.
I hate grown men wearing football shirts of their team whilst shopping on a Saturday when their team is playing at home.
I hate that I don’t hate Roy Hodgson.
I hate Jermaine Beckford and any player who has neck tattoos.
I hate songs being inappropriately taken as club anthems and then sung in a manly way. ‘I’m forever blowing bubbles….’. Gaylords.
I hate Danny Dyer and anyone he’s ever interviewed.
I hate the book ‘Cass’ by Cass Pennant. It is honestly the stupidest thing I’ve ever read. Chapter 1: Millwall. ‘Yeah we took 50 to Millwall. They had 1000 in their mob but we ran ’em up and down the street’.
Chapter 2: Liverpool . ‘Yeah we took 50 to Liverpool . They had 2000 in their mob but we ran ’em up and down the street’. **** me… Jade Goody’s autobiography is probably better. Even her non-ghost written one.
I hate that all good youngsters end their careers at Spurs before they start.”
If the author is Chris Charles, we expect a full confession in today’s Review of the Week.
As for you, OTP fans, do you have anything to add? What do you hate about football today?