1. Wayne Rooney’s knee flu sounds really nasty. I’m sure Sir Alex Ferguson has a sneaky plan afoot, I just don’t know what it is yet (except that it probably involves Rooney not playing for England).
2. Wayne Rooney’s head is quite incredible. Peter Crouch must be fearing that his uses in the England squad are running out.
3. Phil Dowd very kindly tried to make the match competitive for as long as possible, but there is no excuse for not sending Nemanja Vidic off after three minutes.
4. Hopefully Martin O’Neill left the tags on his new suit.
5. Carling brand champagne bottles are still disgusting after all these years.