The Premier League Cabinet

Posted by - May 7, 2010 - Lists, Premier League

A hung Parliament fit to rule the Premier League

Prime Minister: Carlo Ancelotti
Looks like he is going to get the Premiership with a very slim majority.

Chancellor of the Exchequer: Harry Redknapp

Budget deficit? ‘Arry’ll soon budge it. We are not sure he would be 100 per cent up front with his policies, but Pini Zahavi is sure to be a senior adviser.

Minister for Rural Affairs: Avram Grant

Visits to out-of-town brothels? Can’t conduct your affairs much more rurally than that.

Secretary of State for International Development: Rafael Benitez
Giving 17-year-old footballers from far flung countries the chance to build new lives away from football in the UK.

Secretary of State for Work and Pensions: Sir Alex Ferguson

Keeps changing his mind about whether he wants to be in work or collect his pension, so he is in the perfect position to oversee both.

Secretary of State for Defence: Brian Laws

If anybody needs to look at the state of his defence it is the Burnley boss.

Foreign Secretary: Roy Hodgson

The Premier League’s best travelled manager and a talented linguist. That is not even mentioning his tours around the Continent this season.

Home Secretary: Tony Pulis
Likes to rule Britannia and more than accustomed to dealing with skirmishes on the home front.

Secretary of State for Health: Sam Allardyce
Used his heart surgery as a mandate to tell the Premier League’s other managers to have a check-up.

Secretary of State for Northern Ireland: Martin O’Neill
Erm… sort of speaks for itself.

  • Safety

    You have neglected to name a Secretary of State for the Department of Health. Might I suggest Arsene Wenger?

  • arseman

    Surely Arsene should be put in charge of finances.

  • jill

    Ha ha very good. a little light relief.

  • Will

    David Moyes should be secretary of state for defense. As proved this season, he and his lads can fight, whether it’s with other players or silly Italian managers.

  • AFCnews

    I was dissapointed with the last Gunners match the other week, hopefully we can get the points up and stay first in the premier league, Come on you gunners!