Chelsea have hatched a cunning plan to keep Ashley Cole at Stamford Bridge: they are going to help him lower his profile and improve his media image. To help with this they have managed to get an Ashley Cole story in the Daily Mail today of which they are the sole source.
Like all the best PR strategies, they have firstly given the media chapter and verse on what they plan to achieve from the campaign and the reason for it.
Chairman Bruce Buck, who sounds increasingly like he has lost the plot in recent quotes, is helping to mastermind the campaign.
He said: “I think Ashley is fine. He is great around the club, is polite and helpful. We’re not involved in his private life but we support him to a certain extent if we can.
“You would be unhappy too if you got the treatment he is getting by the media. He doesn’t like that but I don’t think it will be any different if he was in Spain or Italy.
‘He has just got to work a little bit, with our help, on improving his image. He is a great player and everyone loves to watch him play and we just look forward like that. We do [rally around him] at executive level, as do the other players and management. We will do the best we can.”
When I say Ashley Cole, nobody is allowed to mention Ashley Cole again. OK? Ashley Cole. Oops.