Top five conclusions: Valencia 0-1 Manchester United
1. A draw would not have been so disastrous that Javier Hernandez’s goal can be considered a Get Out Of Jail Free card, but it was certainly a Get Out Of Mediocrity Undeservedly card.
2. One more Hernandez or Fernandes on the pitch and this would have stopped being a Champions League match and become some sort of Hispanic sitcom.
3. OTP was very disappointed to check the squad lists and discover that, despite Jim Beglin’s assurances, Midge Ure was not playing at centre-back for Valencia.
4. Valencia could always roll out Fergie’s old shirt excuse. At times, they were quite neatly camouflaged against the PS3 and UniCredit adverts, and the empty white seats.
5. Michael Owen must be wondering what he has to do. Scores with his first touch at the weekend, but now arguably back to fifth in the pecking order after the bright cameos from Hernandez and Federico Macheda.