Paul the octopus dies… and the world goes mental
Ok, ok, it is sad news that he has gone (why do the good ones always die so young etc) but in the 24 hours since Paul the Octopus passed away, the world seems to have gone potting mad.
Here are a few of our favourite reactions:
“His success made him almost a bigger story that the World Cup itself” – Aquarium manager Stefan Porwoll overestimates the issue
“We may decide to erect a modest permanent shrine” – Porwoll goes all mushy on us
“Paul will live on in the form of a range of commercial enterprises including clothing lines and mobile phone applications” – The Daily Mail reckons he will still be s-quids in
“Jiang Xiao, the director of a forthcoming thriller entitled Who Killed Paul the Octopus?, the creature had really been dead for the last three months. Jiang told the Guardian she was “60 to 70% sure” Paul had died in July and been secretly replaced by his keepers” – The Guardian goes all Princess Di conspiracy theory on our asses
“The eight-armed ‘psychic’ correctly predicted the winners of all Germany’s World Cup clashes, and then the final” – Sky News forgets its GCSE biology. Surely they’re arms, or legs, or something?
“It’s a sad day. Paul was rather special but we managed to film Paul before he left this mortal earth,” said his agent, Chris Davies” – BBC News reveal that Paul had an agent! OTP is cynical as to how much of the profits Paul actually got his hands on.
And although it is now months old, this is our favourite news story ever:
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad attacks Octopus Paul
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Iranian leader, says Paul the Octopus, the sea creature that correctly predicted the outcome of World Cup games, is a symbol of all that is wrong with the western world.
The Iranian president accused Octopus Paul of spreading “western propaganda and superstition”. He claims that the octopus is a symbol of decadence and decay among “his enemies”
It all feels like April Fools Day!