If you think I’m gonna take you back, you better do soccer better than that
After making £45 profit last week, OTP ummed and ahhed over whether to hire Rooney’s call girl for a fifth of the regulation time or Katie Waissel’s Granny Escort for a year. Instead we got pissed on cheap whiskey and trawled Facebook for holidays photos of ex-girlfriends in bikinis. Don’t listen to the cynics: Romance isn’t dead, and we’ve still got thirty quid for this week’s bets.
It is damn difficult to make Premier League picks and find value in winner or loser bets, but goalscoring has been different. Tim Cahill and Carlos Tevez have scored half their teams’ goals, and together have bagged the first goal in eleven Premier League games.
£10 on Carlos Tevez first goalscorer gets you £55
£10 on Tim Cahill first goalscorer gets you £65
Like a geeky kid at a school disco, the next bet speculates with the desperate hope of a major payoff, although im not too interested in smelling of Impulse Vanilla Kisses and teenage lust come 10pm. By betting on -1.5 on the Asian Handicap, home “bankers” chuck out more value that Chris Moyles has done in the last five years.
£5 on Man United, Bayern Munich, Sevilla and Valencia to all win at -1.5 Asian Handicap gets you £108
Finally, our last fiver (metaphorical, thank be the Lord) goes on the spoils being shared in Sunday’s two Premier League games. As all four teams involved have been as up and down as a Friday night Jodie Marsh recently, we plump for two draws.
£5 on Newcastle v Chelsea and Tottenham v Liverpool being draws gets you £64