Blackpool could be forced to prepare for one of their toughest matches of the season by attending aerobics classes and, tide permitting, having the occasional kickabout on the beach.
Manager Ian Holloway is worried his preparations for the forthcoming clash with Manchester United could come unstuck in the wintry weather conditions because the Seasiders do not have any indoor training facilities.
He said: “We might use the beach. Whereas most teams can train under their beautiful bubble, we haven’t really got anywhere.
“I might have to take them indoors – aerobics class or something. But we need to keep moving with the ball and we will have to think about that.
“We went to train on the beach last season but it was frozen. So we went to the casino instead, got the bacon sandwiches in and organised a poker tournament, which they loved. But that’s not what you need to do before playing Man United, is it?”
And we will sign off there before that very unkind comment we have been trying to keep a lid on throughout this post – about Ian Evatt, Marlon Harewood and enough donkeys on the beach already – somehow slips out.