Tick, tick, tick… BOOM!
On this week’s show, we’ve bagged the managerial interview everyone wanted to hear. Not a one-on-one with Fergie, but Alan Davenport – manager of Madron FC (the team that got spanked 55-0 last weekend). As you’ll hear, the self confessed ‘worst team in Britain’ are real troopers and the OTP podcast has pinned their colours to the noble Cornish village side for the rest of the season.
Elsewhere, expect more ill-conceived queries about the weekend’s games. We’ll be asking: ”What’s the story with Jack Wilshere’s Parisian accent?”, ”Did Bolton score ‘the best goal in the world’?”, ”Will West Ham’s Paolo Di Canio Lounge be as sinister as it sounds?” and ”Has South America provided us with the most exquisite acrobatic own-goal ever witnessed?”.
The vids to match the waffle
Meet Madron FC, their slightly leaky defence and the man with the toughest managerial job in football: Alan Davenport. The club has been losing countless matches by decent cricket scores, but winning Off The Post’s respect and adoration.
Asthetically Pleasing to us this week was Chris Brunt’s mathematically perfect free-kick. Brunt: ‘Nasa have been in touch – apparently I broke a law of physics…and Tim Howard’s ribs.”
An Argentinian goalkeeping coach quite literally steps in to save the day. Trainer: ”It was an accident – the fact I prevented a certain one-on-one in the 90th minute is pure coincidence.”
Former Cluj manager Sorin Cartu smashes up dug-out. Cartu: ”I was actually swatting a mosquito. Sure, I lost my job but at least I got the little blighter. Every cloud.”
River Plate’s Facundo Quiroga scores a truly sumptuous bicycle-kick own-goal. Quiroga: ”It’s not ideal now but in theory I can pass this off to my future grandchildren as an incredible winning goal.”