1. Never mind Heathrow Airport, the snow has brought that other great British institution Top 10 conclusions to a near standstill.
2. Contrary to appearances, Darren Bent’s injury is not that serious and both his feet are still the right way round.
3. Due to more white precipitation around Premier League grounds than on a camera lens at the end of your average Owen Coyle interview, just two matches survived the frozen conditions.
4. In their desperation, West Ham seem to have resorted to playing a goalkeeper who sounds like a made-up scientist from an April Fools’ story about the planet being taken over by aliens with giant boobs. Take a bow, Ruud Boffin.