Russia 2018 looking more fun than ever
Remember, kids, if you want to captain England like Rio Ferdinand, or stay at the top for as long as Ryan Giggs, or – erm – look a bit pants as if you’ve only been bought to sell shirts to the Asian market but improve to the extent that you turn out to be a really good player like Ji-Sung Park, you need vodka.
All the top athletes are now recommending vodka as the way to succeed in sport. Not only will you become a world-beater, you’ll also be able to walk on water. Plus bathing in vodka is what caused Giggs’ hair regrowth.
This might be a new advert from Manchester United’s current crop, but the Red Devils players have been taking a pre-match dip in spirits since Paul McGrath’s day.