Punter Dan back with his latest installment
My only prelude to this weeks bets is to say that it is nearing the end of the month, so to keep me in real ale, whiskey chasers and scampi fries I am going all out.
One of my biggest ballaches in football is the way overweight men have opinions on individual players such as “I could have scored that you pr*ck”. Could you? Could you really? Despite the fact it took half an hour and 800 grams of Flora to squeeze you into that nylon shirt? I was walking down the street yesterday and saw a man wearing and England shirt with Wright-Phillips on the back. I checked whether it was actually him (who else would pay to have that on an England shirt) and I had been conned, it was an imposter. Should probably have guessed to be fair, he was white and fell between clinically and dangerously obese.
£10 on Notts County, Manchester United at – 1.5, AFC Wimbledon and Luton gets you £65
Now it comes to something when an addict (alcohol, tobacco, gambling, hot tomato flavoured snack-a-jacks) despairs of the state of the world. “’Burglars snorted the cremated remains of a man and two dogs in the mistaken belief that they had stolen illegal drugs”. We have moved on from the minority spoiling it for the majority to the majority spoiling it for the minority. Sort of makes you want to curl up and cry (and by cry I mean watch solid football all weekend every weekend, with a smorgasbord of various betting slips dotted around your lazy self).
£10 on Barcelona – 2.5, Porto, Dundee and Livingston gets you £80
So Darren Bent has swapped Sunny Sunderland for Bright Birmingham. Quite honestly, I haven’t been a party to a more uninspiring move since my best mate, aged 14 (and that’s then not now, I’m not a pervert) moved is hand around the bottom of Holly Smith’s skirt before even speaking to her. Let me tell you followers, it might work for Russell Brand but it doesn’t work in youth clubs.
£5 on Craig Westcarr (Notts County) to be first goalscorer gets you £35
£10 on Kris Commons to score anytime gets you £29 (If he doesn’t start then money back)
£5 on Leo Messi and Ronaldo first goalscorers gets you £58