Mark Lawrenson’s Comedy Column

Posted by - January 21, 2011 - Predictions, Premier League, Quotes

And Liverpool are down to joint fourth!

Messi or Adam?
From Lawro’s prediction for Blackpool v Sunderland:

“Ian Holloway has got the Seasiders playing a really effective 4-3-3 formation – they are as good as anybody playing that system.”

I’m sure there is a team that I have heard about recently. I think they play in Spain, and they’re doing quite well at the moment with that formation.

So Barcelona or Blackpool? You decide…

3 – 2 = 1
From Lawro’s prediction for Blackpool v Sunderland:

“Darren Bent’s departure to Aston Villa for an initial £18m might not be the end of the world for Sunderland because, in the last couple of months, Danny Welbeck and Asamoah Gyan have looked like better players anyway.”

Unfortunately, as Danny Welbeck has just been ruled out for two months, Sunderland have just Asamoah Gyan as their only fit striker.

A baker’s dozen? A Holloway’s dozen?
From Lawro’s prediction for Blackburn v West Brom:

“I still worry about the Baggies defensively because the Seasiders must have created dozens of chances and DJ Campbell could have had a hat-trick.”

Number of chances created by Blackpool: 9 (two on target)
Number of chances created by West Brom: 18

Goals, goals, goals
From Lawro’s prediction for Manchester United v Birmingham

“The Blues have big problems getting goals and, consequently, getting points, on the road.”

Ten Premier League teams have less goals per game than Birmingham. Given the fact that Birmingham are 16th in the Premier League, surely the goals scored column is not necessarily the problem.

Double Dutch
From Lawro’s prediction for Blackburn v West Brom:

“Up until the end of last month, I thought up they looked stronger – physically and defensively”

I’m simply not sure what this even means. So this is a plea, please explain what this deep insight is all about. It’s probably just over my head!

Do as I say, not as I do
From Lawro’s predicton for Aston Vlla v Manchester Cty:

“You are never too good to go down but I think Villa have too many match-winners to be relegated.”

So let’s get this straight. You remembered the golden rule. And then you forgot again and took it all back?
Logic, Lawro’s way.

An alternative point of view
From Lawro’s prediction for Everton v West Ham:

“What I will say about Grant is that he has remained extremely dignified in the face of all this speculation over his future. Forget about what you think about him as a manager and whether he can keep West Ham up, he deserves credit because of how he has acted after the way he has been treated.”

Here at OTP, we have a different view. Just call us cynics.

  • Neil

    Some very tenuous arguments here, Dan! I thought you were going to go all Rafa on us and say: “let’s talk about facts!”

    A lot of what Lawro is saying is obvious hyperbole and figure of speech stuff, such as Blackpool being as good as anyone with the 4-3-3 formation. Also, the “dozens” of chances is again a “figure of speech”… Barcelona at their best would struggle for literally dozens of chances against Grimsby, for goodness sake!

    As for Sunderland and their srikers, this was obviously witten last night. Danny Welbeck’s two month lay off was only announced yesterday!

    Birmingham have been struggling for goals this season, and that is a fact. Even your colleague, Rob Parker alluded to the poor form of their strikers in last week’s 10 conclusions!

    I don’t see where the problem lies in what he says about Villa and Grant.

    Obviously he says that no team is “too good” to go down, but he is saying that IN HIS OPINION, the quality players in Villa’s squad will improve. Pretty simple if you ask me!

    Grant has been given the vote of confidence, simply because the owners couldn’t get their number one man. A classic back-handed compliment if ever there was one!

    If Lawro is such a bird brain, why don’t you give your own predictins each week, and come the end f the season we can see who is the one talking sense! I know that you do your betting tips each week, and they’ve been doing good, but if you do think you know much better than Lawro, you should be brave enough to take him on in the predictins!

  • Jimbo

    While I do love Lawro’s comedy stylings I’m going to 2nd Neil in calling your you to make your own predictions. To justify this being a weekly feature I think you need to spice it up a bit with your own predictions.

  • Daniel Storey

    Now then. Although i will consider predictions, and you are right Neil my betting has been good and you have been noticeably quiet!, im not at any point having a go at is predictions, im having a go at his dubious statements and justifications.