Mark Lawrenson’s Comedy Column

Posted by - January 4, 2011 - Predictions, Premier League, Quotes

With a bloody Blackpool win!

Is he earning is money at last? It has been a bumper week of predictions for our moustached hero, although this time out he doesn’t have the comfort of a celebrity predicting against him.

Blackpool v Birmingham

“Birmingham cannot buy themselves a goal.”

Number of games since Birmingham last scored: 1

Number of times Birmingham have not scored in their last seven games: 2

Manchester United v Stoke City

“United are likely to have the ball for 75% of the match”

Number of times Manchester United have had 75% possession this season: 0

Number of times Stoke have conceded 75% possession this season:0

Percentage of possession by Manchester United against Stoke in October: 53%

Bolton v Wigan

“Worryingly for Wigan, apart from Steven Caldwell at the back, they are a little soft”

Slightly embarassing one this… we think Lawro means Gary Caldwell, on the basis that Steven has played just seven of Wigan’s twenty games this season and not since 11th December. Gary has played in Wigan’s last three.

Newcastle v West Ham

“He will need striker Shola Ameobi to continue to do well as the stand-in for Andy Carroll”

Continue to do well? Is that includes scoring from a yard out whilst missing an open goal header, and a return of four goals in his last 22 league appearances, West Ham might not mind it continuing.

Wolves v Chelsea

“The absence of striker Kevin Doyle through injury is a big loss. I just cannot see them scoring.”

Goals per game from Wolves this season with Kevin Doyle in side: 1

Goals per game from Wolves this season without Kevin Doyle in side: 1

Kevin Doyle has scored one PL goal this season, or 5 in his last 35, whichever you prefer.

  • Twoclubsonelove

    Was it Mark who said (on Saturday’s MotD) that Wolves would get 7 points from there next 6 games? In his defence great start then last night.