Mark Lawrenson’s Comedy – FA Cup Special

Posted by - January 7, 2011 - Predictions, Premier League

On the Law-road to Wembley

It was with bated breath that I loaded up the BBC sport homepage this morning. Fingers crossed, mouth slightly dry, and a heart beating marginally faster than if I was in the presence of a female porn star or royalty.

And so it became true. Our man has done a bumper edition of predictions for the FA Cup Third Round weekend.

Millwall v Birmingham

“Millwall have developed some good players that they have found in non-league”

Ahh, the old sweeping statement based on one example. A Lawro nugget if you will.

Number of players in the Milwall squad bought from non-league: 1

Steve Morison is your man. And given that he scored 89 in 146 for Stevenage and was almost 26 when signing for the club, much of his development had already possibly taken place.

Huddersfield v Dover

“Huddersfield are very strong at home…The Terriers score loads of goals under boss Lee Clark”

There are four better sides at home in League One than Huddersfield, and Exeter, Bristol Rovers and Hartlepool have all taken three points from West Yorkshire.

There are eight teams that have scored more goals per game in League One than Huddersfield’s average of 1.52. Loads?

Hull v Fulham

“The Tigers have started to spend a bit of money since they were taken over by businessmen Assem and Ehab Allam in December”

Firstly, the takeover was completed on 10th November.

Money spent on new players since takeover: £0

Scunthorpe v Everton

“Glanford Park is not a very easy place to go”

Love it, Lawro. Absolutely love it.

Scunthorpe have picked up five points at home this season, and have lost eight of their eleven games at ‘Fortress Glandford’.

In fact, no team in the top five divisions in English football has a worse home record. There is no easier place to go.

Sheffield United v Aston Villa

“I think Gerard Houllier is doing OK as Aston Villa manager…They will be absolutely fine in the Premier League.”

Really? Houllier has managed just one win in nine games and just two since September. They have five league points from 27 available.  After a home defeat to Sunderland there were calls from fans for his head and he received the vote of confidence from the owner.

And in terms of being “absolutely fine”, Wednesday’s defeat saw Aston Villa drop into the relegation zone in the Premier League.

Manchester United v Liverpool

“You just cannot back Liverpool away from home at the moment.”

Well you say that Lawro. But don’t you do a regular column where you predict the results of Premier League matches, therefore including Liverpool’s away games?

And have you not predicted Liverpool to win their last two away games, including Wednesday night’s game at Blackburn?

Oh. I see. Busted. Just for info, in his table Liverpool are now joint second on 49 points.

Finally, to round things off, let’s hope that it is an excitement filled FA Cup weekend. More exciting than Lawro predicts anyway. In the 21 games he predicts, only two have a scoreline that is not 2-1, 2-0 or 1-1, and only one team (Arsenal) are predicted to score more than two goals.