Gary Taylor-Fletcher – backstreet turtle dealer
The Off The Post Podcast is much like Avram Grant. It lacks any real sense, is hardly what you’d call inspiring, and isn’t listened to by Karren Brady, but people seem just about happy to persevere with it for now.
On this week’s show we’ll be prematurely revelling in poor Avram Grant’s departure by discussing some alternative jobs for him away from the malicious footballing scene.
We’ll also be analysing three of the worst touches Turkish football has ever seen and observing that the Irish FA has already started embracing some of our suggestions on how to bring romance back to cup competitions.
Add to this all the best of the weekend’s action, Steve Bruce karaoke and Kenny Dalglish’s phone antics from the early 1990s and it soon looks like we’ll be joining big Avram in triumphantly throwing our audio scarf into a sparse crowd of listeners with undeserved pride.
Insomniacs rejoice! A cure to their condition has been found-and it was on West Ham’s tactics board all along.
Liverpool owner John W Henry on Kenny Dalglish’s appointment: “We knew he was the right man for the job-just look at the old school way he connects with the fans. Hodgson always favoured the group text and The Kop didn’t like that.”
Newcastle fans proving that they have a real gift with words. Cue Steve Bruce going mental.
Carlos Tevez on the success of his band: “Yeah we’ve got quite a strong following back in Argentina, we even charted once. Mostly we do our own stuff but everyone just loves our cover of Mark Morrison’s hit ‘Return of the Mack’. It brings the house down every time.”
The Irish FA: taking fixture congestion to the next level.
FC United goalkeeper Sam Ashton scoring a ripper from his own area. Reports that he has been linked with Aston Villa to fix their scoring problem remain unconfirmed.
Ali Turan of Turkish side Antalyaspor showing that he isn’t very good at his job. If he was an office worker those three touches would be the equivalent of pouring a mug of coffee on the photocopier whilst simultaneously sending lewd photos of his boss to all prospective clients accompanied by the caption “you want a piece?”