What is it this week with English teams being as boring as sod in Europe? Man yoo against Marseille was so tedious that for a few minutes I seriously considered putting my finger up my nose so far that I touched my brain. As if to rub salt in the proverbial gaping wound, Liverpool then gave us a horrendous snoozefest. I had at least banked on Thomas Repka maiming a few Scousers, but even he toned down his normal psycho-GBH banter.
£10 on Annan and Stranraer to win gets you £35
Every Friday I go to Asda to do a spot of weekend shopping (Marlboro lights, joint of meat, Morgan Spice rum, ginger beer). You can normally bank on some Boho Chav Chic amongst the aisles, and this week I genuinely heard the phrase “They ain’t not got none babe”. I had to take a quick trip to the smelling salts aisle in order to not vomit right there on the spot. Luckily got back on track in time to see a medically obese woman put three multipacks of Monster Munch into a trolley.
£10 on Crawley and Wimbledon to win at -1.5 gets you £35
I am going to use my last paragraph to make a plea to you: watch German football. I will happily admit that I am a an addict of just about everything from cigarettes to Maltesers, but Deutschland footy is the new fix. I went to watch Hertha Berlin last weekend, and they are getting nearly 50,000 people to watch them in the second tier, and the atmosphere was incredible. However the main reason to watch is that the German word for team is mannschaft. Shame Stefan Kunst has retired.
£10 on Manchester City, Arsenal and Fenerbachea all at -1.5 gets you £105
£5 on Dzeko and Berbatov to score anytime gets you £23
£5 on Wolves v Blackpool and Milwall v Forest to be draws get you £60
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