Mark Lawrenson’s Comedy Column

Posted by - April 1, 2011 - Predictions, Premier League, Quotes, Ranting and Raving

Lawro’s back from an international break

Mr Obvious
Watch out folk, because Lawro is in insightful form after the international break:

“If you think back to last season, the form which took Birmingham to a ninth-place finish was built on 1-0 wins, and they could clearly do with replicating those sort of results now.”

“If they had not picked up so many points earlier on in the campaign, then they would be looking over their shoulders a lot more anxiously than they are doing now.”

So that’s ‘team needs wins to move out of relegation trouble’ and ‘team would be in lower position if they had less points’. I’m not sure if my brain can cope.

Take a look in the mirror
You may know that alongside his predictions, the BBC football expert also writes a column for the Daily Mirror newspaper, a publication that I would generously call a ‘rag’. From Lawro’s Everton v Villa prediction:

“There has been a lot of rubbish written about a player revolt under manager Gerard Houllier at Villa Park but I would not take too much notice of that.”

Headline from an English newspaper on the 25th March:

Eight Villa stars ‘in revolt over Houllier’s new rules’

I’ll let you guess which newspaper this was in.

Let’s get it on in public
From Stoke v Chelsea:

“Privately they will think they can do it (win the title), even if publically they might say they will not”

Ignoring the spelling mistake (try publicly not publically, Lawro):

Carlo Ancelotti, March 21, says Chelsea can win the title

Frank Lampard, March 9: “It is a long shot; we have given ourselves a lot to do. The teams at the top have a gap but, if we win all our games, we can do it.”

Fernando Torres, March 20: “Yes, there are a lot of points between us and the top but we have a head-to-head with United still to come, which will be a pivotal game.

I could go on.

Clean as a whistle
West Brom have a team shape which, when they lose the ball, makes them difficult to break down – which is definitely a trademark of his.

So West Brom are difficult to break down?

Number of clean sheets gained by Hodgson in his four games at the Hawthorns: 0
Number of games since West Brom last kept a clean sheet: 32

“But a lot of their (Liverpool) players have played an awful lot of football in the last few weeks and I am not convinced they will be able to push on here, or that finishing fourth is at all realistic for them.”

Of the 14 players to play a part in the win over Sunderland, 6 have had 11 days off since then. Only three players have played more than 90 minutes in the last 11 days.

Lawro update
Now that you can predict against us and your friends on, how about an update as to how Lawro’s predictions are going.

He currently has an average of 6.8 per week, which is less than 12 of his opponents and more than the other 12.

Of the last 68 Premier League scores he has predicted, he has got 3 of them right.