1. Sir Alex Ferguson can be thankful for his touchline ban. Listening to the Grand National would have looked even more unprofessional in the dugout.
2. Referee Lee Mason has no sense of humour. Why would you let a Blackpool goal stand when you have the chance to send-off Jens Lehmann on his Premier League return?
3. Peter Crouch ended the week by showing that at least he’s usually first to the ball when he goes for it with his head.
4. Poor Phil Neville. He scored his first goal in three years with a screamer from the edge of the box and it wasn’t even the best goal of the game.
5. Neville will also presumably be picking up a two-match ban after saying “sod it” to the Match of the Day camera.
6. Fulham keeper Mark Schwarzer is sure to have finally sealed his move to Arsenal after going AWOL for Manchester United’s second goal.
7. Sunderland have finally found someone to replace the goalscoring prowess of Darren Bent: Nicky Shorey.
8. Joey Barton is probably not the best English midfielder in the country.
9. Fernando Torres probably will score a goal for Chelsea at some point, but you just can’t see it happening at the moment.
10. Tottenham fans must be very slappable. Both Ricardo Fuller and Vedran Corluka fancied a go.