Mark Lawrenson’s Comedy Column

Posted by - May 6, 2011 - Predictions, Premier League, Quotes, Ranting and Raving

Guess who’s back

After giving Lawro a couple of weeks off (walking every day and all that), he is back in inglorious fashion this week. You want insight? You want justified opinions? You want the BBC Football Expert? Oh…

From Aston Villa v Wigan

“Wigan can’t string two results together.”

Well in your opinion they can, Lawro. Defeats. Because phenomenally our man has not had Wigan winning since the 13th November. 24 games.

“I’m afraid I think they will go down”

Yes you do. Because you have them on 16 points in the table, on their way to obtaining the third worst points total in Premier League history.

But remember:

“Their performances aren’t ever that bad”

From Newcastle v Birmingham

“Birmingham will be fine, no danger of relegation for them”

Fairly dismissive, no? Birmingham are four points outside the relegation zone, but have just one home game remaining, and have won just two away games all season.

And the reason why they will be fine?:

“They’ve gone back to being hard to beat”

Birmingham’s aggregate score in their last two away games? 8-1 against.

Insight, the Lawro way

“Blackpool will go to White Hart Lane and try to win the game” – So a team that needs points will try to win? I see.

“I think Spurs and Liverpool should try and finish fifth and get in the Europa League if the top four is beyond them” – Teams should try and finish as high up the league as they can? Really?

“If you offered Sir Alex Ferguson a draw he’d take it” – In a game after which, if his side do not lose, they will need just four points from Blackburn away and Blackpool at home, you may well be right Lawro.

Lawro’s opinions: Mum says they’re just mmmagical.

Pressure, pushing down on me

“Chelsea have put together a very, very good run under no pressure”

So after their draw with Fulham on Valentine’s day, which saw Chelsea fifth in the league and twelve points behind Manchester United, there was no pressure on them?

No pressure on under fire manager Ancelotti, no pressure on a £50million striker?

I’d say credit where credit is due, Mark?

Wreading, Writing, Writhmetic

“I think it’s going down to the last day of the season for Wolves and it’s looking ominous for the three ‘Ws’.”

Well in reality yes, but it depends which W’s we are talking about doesn’t it.

Because in Lawro’s table, Wigan are relegated and West Ham are in 15th, safely seven points out of the drop zone. Another W are in the bottom three. But that W is for West Brom.

As for Lawro thinking that it’s coming down to the last day for Wolves, they sit in 9th, thirty points off the bottom of the league.

  • neil

    I find it completely stupid how you constantly talk about Lawro’s table as he has predicted results right up along. He isn’t basing his predictions on the previous week’s predictions; he’s basing them on the previous week’s results and the current week’s opposition.

  • Simon Leonard

    i’m not a fan of lawrenson and i agree some of his comments are lazy and often incorrect. However I can’t help thinking your constant criticism of him incorrectly predicting results and places of teams is completely unfair. You have constantly criticised him for predicting blackpool to have less points than they have (something which almost every football fan in the country would have done). Having predicted west ham to be safe on results and west brom to be struggling is by no means ridiculous at all as again most people looking at there squads would have said this.nnnOn top of this as neil points out he predicts results week by week, not for a whole season. if liverpool keeping losing, he is bound to predict a win because there run isn’t going to last forever. similarily the opposite could be said for blackpool.nnnI challenge you to do predictions next season and see how you fair in comparison. You should also bear to things in mind when judging. your score from one week to the next and your overall league table. i think its time to put your words where your mouth is instead of criticising week in week out.n

  • neil

    To be fair to Daniel, he did try do a predictions competition at the last international break, but I’m not sure what the response was. I would’ve taken part, but I didn’t want to sign up to another internet gambling site! Would’ve been a big mistake!hahann