The Pod lived the ultimate football punditry dream last night – recording whilst all the frenetic bedlam of Deadline Day played out. With producer Stu alerting us of live developments throughout, the Pod’s narrative zig-zagged back and forth like Bellamy’s rubber band dance in the FA Cup: from the everything-must-go sale at Watford to Andy Carroll’s fully-certified goal and from QPR’s new strikeforce to an African Nations round up; pausing only for breath during handcuffed bondage at Goodison. Kinky chaos.
Football clubs weren’t the only ones to be riddled with anxiety about losing their prized possessions. As recording began – podmember Alex (infamous for his 100 per cent attendance record) was missing from his seat. Whilst vicious rumours of a vocal medical at a superior podcast filtered through, a beleaguered Pod distracted itself with things we can truly rely on – bizarre twitter outbursts, Gary Neville making a tit of himself and Harry Redknapp being Harry Redknapp.
First we had the Macarena, then we had the Cha Cha Slide. Now at last the country’s sticky dance floors have the Bellamy Stretch. Innovate warm-up technique or flexible asbo-tag?
Disorientated, all over the place and totally absurd – for once it’s not Steve McCalren’s migrating accent, it’s his bizarre body language in this interview. Just what is going on? Haunted by past failures, dropped a contact lens or hypnotised to be a kitten groping for imaginary ball of wool? You decide.
For years the pod has felt ashamed of googling keywords ‘Handcuffs’ ‘Policeman’ and ‘Phil Neville’ . Finally it seems fully justified today and significantly less seedy.
Like Crystal Palace’s starting line-up, this is something that never gets old. Christmas day requires a traditional viewing of The Snowman animation. Deadline Day demands this.
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