1. Blackburn turned White Hart Lane into the Premier League equivalent of the Dignitas clinic. They just sat back and let Tottenham deliver a nasty dose of assisted relegation. Expect to see the symptoms develop over the next 7-10 days.
2. It was a great weekend for alleged racists to find the net.
3. Chelsea striker Fernando Torres’ valuation continues to rocket as he added a hat-trick against QPR to his goal against Barcelona.
4. Moses can add the orange defence to the Red Sea on his list headed: ‘Things I parted with ease.’ Victor tore Newcastle apart before they’d even got started.
5. No wonder Real Madrid are constantly linked with Kyle Walker. He can now add insane bendy free-kicks to his list headed: ‘Things I’ve got in common with Roberto Carlos.’
6. Alex McLeish might consider drafting in Alan Hutton as Aston Villa keeper for their relegation run-in. He kept a magnificent cleansheet against West Brom.
7. Dyer: a neat description of Wolves’ defending this season. Apt then that a 5ft 5in player of that name should score a headed goal against them the week after their relegation.
8. Having said that, Terry Goner’s men showed great heart to ensure they secured the traditional Premier League 4-4.
9. Pavel Pogrebnyak has ruined OTP’s illusion that he is made of granite… by giving a penalty away protecting his delicate face with his arms. The big girl’s blouse.
10. Brave football reporters, next time you’re faced with a rude Kenny Dalglish remember the key to finding his jovial interview persona is a 45-yard Luis Suarez lob.