1. Chelsea are definitely hanging on to third rather than hunting for second. They didn’t appear to be hunting for anything against Manchester City yesterday.
2. It was sad to see Robin Van Persie go the way of David Beckham: out of favour with Sir Alex Ferguson after spending too much time in front of the cameras.
3. Bayern Munich are better than Aston Villa.
4. There is nearly enough material for Newcastle to release a Sensational Papiss Cisse Volleys DVD.
5. Frank Lampard and Jonathan Walters will be both be having words with the youth team coaches who told them all those years ago that the keeper won’t save your penalty if you put it in the corner.
6. Nice to see a good old fashioned Titus Bramble balls-up. It was a bit like finding out your favourite comedian is back with some new material.
7. Wigan’s Arouna Kone is possibly the first Premier League player to score through the medium of a penalty appeal.
8. Judging by his post-match interview, Norwich new boy Kei Kamara seems to believe that jumping is an evil superpower that he is about to inflict on the Premier League. Muhahahaha [repeat to fade].
9. Poor old Dimitar Berbatov. When he fired in his volley against Stoke on Saturday afternoon he probably thought he’d got goal of the month sewn up. Rafael and Papiss Cisse had different ideas.
10. Apparently everyone apart from Bryan Ruiz knew that Fulham vs Stoke was not the place to unleash the Hand of a Minor Deity.