Another gay icon captains England

Following in the wake of David Beckham, apparently the England women’s side now has a gay icon wearing the armband. Kelly Smith has been voted “the most lesbilicious UK sportswoman” in a poll by lesbian website Lesbilicious

Smith picked up 31 per cent of the vote, putting her just ahead of Dame Kelly Holmes (must be something in the name) to take the title. Rosie Kirk of Lesbilicious said: “British lesbians are certainly spoilt for choice when it comes to deciding who are our most lesbilicious athletes, with the Beijing Olympics bringing several new faces on the scene.
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Hang on a minute…

In the coverage that we saw last night, England beat Germany in Berlin. But in the parallel universe in which Eurosport exists the Three Lions were once again slain by Diego Maradona. A Eurosport hack who got a bit caught up in the Terry Butcher furore decided to write that Argentina had managed to “down England”.

That is assuming Butcher hasn’t used his position on the Scottish bench to mount some sort of Wooden Horse of Troy invasion and Scotland is now part of England. Or maybe the headline should read: “Maradona’s Argentina drive down to England.”

Spotted on 101GreatGoals

This one’s for you, pooch

Germany striker Patrick Helmes had revealed pre-match that he was hoping for a goal against England to dedicate to his dead dog - and he duly delivered. When Helmes took advantage of the Scott Carson/John Terry fiasco to find the net, his first reaction was to point to doggy heaven.

The Bayer Leverkusen striker had said: “My dog was just like a little baby to me. I wept all day long after she died. Now every time I score a goal I point my finger to the heavens and think about Emmy.
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England keeper is serial cock-up artist

You have to feel a bit sorry for Scott Carson. He is a very good keeper, but he does seem to be a bit cursed when he dons the England jersey. He kept up his 100 per cent blunder record with a disastrous role in Germany’s goal. The blame must be shared with our glorious captain Sir John Terry though. The senior head in England’s team was for some reason more interested in bumping his backside against the German striker behind him rather than getting on with more important thing like, oh I don’t know, CLEARING THE BALL!

Remind yourself of Carson’s first England blunder after the jump…
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The walking wounded Fabio Capello is without

With Theo Walcott the latest withdrawal from the England squad after dislocating his shoulder (Arsene Wenger probably popped it out before he left the Emirates), we look at what could have been FabCap’s team against Germany tonight if they weren’t all crocked.
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Racial stereotyping for dummies

England’s inexperienced squad were hoping to get some much needed practice ahead of their friendly against Germany but those pesky Germans had other ideas. Miroslav Klose and company were up first and had put their beach towels on all the best spots on the training pitch!

I’m Spartacus!

England’s newest squad member Michael Mancienne looks like the son of Kirk Douglas, but without the Welsh wife. We have heard the expression that good centre-backs keep strikers in their pocket. In Mancienne’s case he could probably keep a Michael Owen-sized attacker within his chin cavity.

Chelsea youngster set for England call-up

If you believe the rumours today then the answer is yes. Chelsea youngster Michael Mancienne, currently on-loan at Wolves, is being tipped as the surprise name in Fabio Capello’s squad to face Germany in Berlin next week.

The 20-year-old is being tipped by The Sun for a call-up after reportedly impressing FabCap with his performances for Wolves and England Under 21s. He has yet to feature for Chelsea’s first team.

David James and David Beckham are expected to be left in the cold as Capello runs the rule over his youthful prospects, including Joe Hart and Gabriel Agbonlahor.

A sauce close to the England squad is now out-of-bounds

When during the latest England scandal, The Sun inevitably digs out a quote from “a source close to the England squad” we often wondered whether this was the squad’s favoured tomato sauce doing the dirty on them. But from now on we cannot blame the ketchup because it has been BANNED by Fabio Capello!
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12 from 12 for Fabio’s boys

1. Wayne Rooney is Samson in reverse. His England goal drought is well and truly over. Keep that head bald and keep the goals coming, Wazza.

2. Steven Gerrard’s international career is not over. That talk was brought on by a distinct lack of football news this week, methinks. He wasn’t even dropped and he produced his best England performance for years, arguably since Munich (oops, I said the M word).

3. It is all very well to boo Ashley Cole when he makes the odd mistake (as we all do), but the fact that it would have been easier to cheer Wayne Bridge when he did something right should put things into perspective for the boo-boys.
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