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Category: Everton

Dec 17 2008

The Premier League Managers’ Christmas Lists: David Moyes

Everton gaffer’s wishlist

Dear Santa,

This year I would like:
- Some cotton wool to wrap Tim Cahill in
- Marouane Fellaini to cut his hair so I can see the rest of the midfield (actually forget the cotton wool - I’ll wrap Cahill in Fellaini’s hair)
- Michael Owen, to add to my injured strikers collection

Thanks,

David

Dec 01 2008

Football Lookalikes: Marouane Fellaini and Colonel Gaddafi

Everton’s midfield general is a midfield colonel

What is the correct slang term for the north African equivalent of the Wafro? An Arafro? Nevermind, these pair are both rocking the look, whatever it is called.

Dec 01 2008

Kitman: Everton’s Steven Pienaar celebrates in ‘God Is Great’ vest

Have yourself a holy yellow card

Steven Pienaar showed that he shares Kaka’s religious views if not quite his footballing prowess by celebrating his winning goal against Tottenham yesterday in a ‘God Is Great’ vest. Kaka famously celebrated winning the Champions League in an ‘I Belong To Jesus’ t-shirt.

We are making the big assumption that Pienaar wasn’t simply trying to impress the Evertonians and it did not say ‘But Big Dunc Is The Greatest’ on the back! We can also assume that God is sponsored by Umbro, God is now commissioning the Everton kitman to spread the word, and that Steve Bennett is going straight to hell for persecuting Pienaar with a yellow card!

Nov 03 2008

Hard tackle: Yakubu gets touched up by John Pantsil

Fulham defender gets touchy feely in the box

We can only assume that cheeky Fulham man John Pantsil got a little confused when Roy Hodgson told him to cut out any balls at the near post!

Oct 26 2008

Wayne Rooney, yellow card badge-kisser

How to make friends and influence Evertonians

Wayne Rooney brought a new brand of badge-kissing to the Premier League on Saturday when he snogged his Manchester United crest to celebrate picking up a yellow card for fouling Everton’s Mikael Arteta. If yellow card badge-kisses are to be the new craze, we expect to see Craig Bellamy wringing out his West Ham shirt very soon.

Video via 101 Great Goals

Sep 05 2008

Horror Hair: Marouane Fellaini’s monobrow

When caterpillars crawl across foreheads

Everton’s record signing Marouane Fellaini must be minted after his £15 million transfer, so we can only assume he is saving up for some diamond-encrusted tweezers.
Spotted on The Offside

Sep 03 2008

Tiago locks Juventus president in toilet to avoid signing for Everton


I don’t know if Everton fans should be embarrassed to read this or relieved that at least David Moyes and Bill Kenwright are trying to sign new players. Unfortunately, their bid for Juventus midfielder Tiago literally went down the pan when the midfielder locked club president Cobolli Gigli in the toilet to avoid being sold. The Portuguese players was so furious with Juve’s attempts to flog him to Goodison Park that he locked his boss in the loo. The toilet-bound president only secured his freedom an hour later when Alessandro Del Piero came to his rescue!

Gigli said: “The story of me being locked in the toilet by Tiago is true. It’s a shame it got out, as this was something I told a friend in confidence. In any case, Alessandro Del Piero responded to the noise of me punching the door and offered to break it down. I told him it was better if someone else did it, as he needed to keep his shoulders in good shape for the Fiorentina game.”

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