Bayern Munich visit Dubai zoo

“Urgh! What is that?! Put me back in my cage. Now!”

Bayern Munich have been preparing for their money-spinning friendly with AC Milan in the United Arab Emirates with a laidback trip to the zoo in Dubai. Franck Ribery took the opportunity to scare the residents with his ugly mug.

It’s magic!

You just wouldn’t catch the Premier League’s finest playing Debbie McGee like this! Bayern Munich and Germany left-back Philipp Lahm was the star performer on Germany’s Stars in der Manege as he became a magician’s assistant for the day, much to the amusement of an onlooking Bastian Schweinsteiger. Watch and ponder just how the motorised device doesn’t cut Lahm to shreads (this one won’t require Jonathan Creek to solve!).

Spotted on The Offside

Stuttgart man loves the taste of ink on skin after finding the net

Roberto Hilbert celebrated his goal for Stuttgart against Standard Liege last night by puckering up and making out with his tattoo. Possibly even more worrying is the fact that team-mate Sami Khedira seems to be weighing up whether he wants a piece of the action. I suppose we should be thankful for small mercies and just be happy that the tattoo was only on his forearm.

There is a slightly better look at that oh-so-kissable bodypaint after the jump.
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Allianz Arena crumbles to the ground in TV advert

German giants Bayern Munich are apparently unimpressed by a TV commercial which aired during their Champions League tie with Lyon, which showed their Allianz Arena home being reduced to a pile of rubble. The footage was an advert for the film The Day The Earth Stood Still, but the commercial’s breaking news format and the use of genuine news presenter Frank Buschmann reportedly left many viewers shocked.

Bayern media director Markus Hoerwick said: “We were not informed and were also not asked for permission. It is not to our benefit for the Arena to be represented in such a way. We will examine now whether and how we react to it.”

Spotted on 101GreatGoals

German outfit top Uefa’s paylist for releasing players

Spain might have walked away with the trophy, but German side Werder Bremen have pocketed £935,107 for releasing their players for Euro 2008. Werder benefited from Germany’s success in the tournament as Tim Borowski, Torsten Frings, Clemens Fritz and Per Mertesacker all played with the national team to the final.

They were also represented by Austria’s Martin Harnik, Croatia’s Ivan Klasnic and Sweden’s Markus Rosenberg. Arsenal were the top-earning English club, picking up £732,760, closely followed by Chelsea and Manchester United. Clubs were paid on a per player per day basis.

Bayern Munich star Franck Ribery reprises his role as the Pink Panther, and this time he is cartoon form.

Stadium announcer’s cock-up spurs on City

Manchester City were helped onto victory against Schalke in the Uefa Cup last night by a confused stadium announcer. The woman with the microphone did not seem to know who the Germans were playing, and referred to them as arch rivals Manchester United.

She made a half-time announcement to: “Man U fans needing transport back to city centre after the game.” That was all the encouragement Stephen Ireland needed to find City’s winning goal.

The announcer has since apologised for what she described as her biggest ever mistake.

Pink is the new black

*Adopts David Attenborough voiceover* Above me see all four limbs of the pink-footed Franck Ribery - football’s finest quadruped. Once a native of France, he now roams around his European hunting ground terrifying his opponents with fearsome looks and those flamboyant pink boots.

Perhaps Nike wanted Ribery to front their Mercurial Rosa because he is a skillful player while also possessing the least pretty boy face in the game. Whatever their reasons, it worked a treat. He bossed the midfield and got two assists against Steaua Bucharest last night. Nicklas Bendtner did alright in his pink boots too…
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Prat tries to make name for himself - was possibly bullied at school

Everyone knows how multiple bookings work in football. Sometimes a scuffle or incident needs to be resolved with more than one player being carded, so the referee shows the card to each player he needs to book. Until now that is.

With all the undiluted racial stereotyping of a Daily Mail editorial, German referee Thomas Metzen decided to come up with a more efficient system. Shame one of them wasn’t a second bookable offence to really put a dampener on his routine (which had clearly been carefully rehearsed in the bathroom mirror!).

Spotted on 101GreatGoals

Racial stereotyping for dummies

England’s inexperienced squad were hoping to get some much needed practice ahead of their friendly against Germany but those pesky Germans had other ideas. Miroslav Klose and company were up first and had put their beach towels on all the best spots on the training pitch!