Cameroon international grabs mouthy fan
The Official Espanyol Supporters Club is calling for goalkeeper Carlos Kameni to never play for the club again after he allegedly threatened a supporter during a training session. The Premier League transfer target is reported to have turned on a fan named David after being heckled during training. The fan is said to have approached Kameni and yelled at him not to bother renewing his contract with the club.
The precise nature of the player’s response is a little blurry, with some sources claiming he asked the fan if he wanted to die and others reporting that Kameni asked the fan whether he wanted him to die. Goal claims the 24-year-old grabbed the fan by his shirt and shouted: “What, you want to die? I am a professional. Respect my work. Respect me!” Read more »
Official sends off all but three players
Players from Spanish outfits Recreativo Linense and Saladillo de Algeciras might want to book their seats early for the coach trip to their next league disciplinary hearing - they are going to be in demand. Their match descended into chaos as 19 players were sent-off.
A brawl broke out in the 54th minute after a Recreativo player was dismissed, with players and fans involved. The referee abandoned the game before paying a visit to the changing rooms and dishing out nine red cards to each team.
Lassana Diarra pays the price for joining club where t’other Diarra plays
Far be it for us to interfere in the internal politics of the shirt policy of a Spanish football club, but surely they could have found a better moniker for Lassana Diarra than Lass. The soon-to-be Real Madrid midfielder will leave behind Portsmouth star ‘Diarra’ at Fratton Park and transform into ‘Lass’ for his exploits at the Santiago Bernabeu.
Unfortunately for Lassie, his namesake Mahamadou is already part of the furniture at Real and to avoid confusion the new Diarra on the block had to get a new name. After the jump we’ll give you five better shirt monikers for Lass. Read more »
Need to make yourself feel like a better footballer? Simply take Real Madrid goalkeeper Iker Casillas, stick him in front of an 18 metre by 7 metre goal and blast penalties past him to your heart’s content. You can even take him for a consolatory beer afterwards if you like, just like in this new advert for Mahou.
Who’s gonna end up with who?
Right, so Juande has got the hots for Didier, who obviously impressed him with his inch-perfect passing during their Tottenham days (that doesn’t sound right). He would like to move him into his new pad in Madrid. But he also quite likes Lassana, who apparently has impressed him from afar (just not quite as much as Didier). He wouldn’t mind taking him to Madrid either.
Tottenham don’t want to lose Didier (we don’t know why), but if they did happen to have him wooed away from them by a suave Spaniard they would love to get together with Lassana. Lassana, according to Juande, is not quite as good at his job as Didier but Tottenham probably like him a bit more and think will fill the void just fine.
1. Baby food
Once Ramos gets his nutritional regime in force he is sure to welcome Antonio ‘Dr Baby Food’ Escribano to his backroom staff to feed Real’s players on his mushed up vegetables and vitamins. Shame Ronaldo isn’t back at the Bernabeu to feel the benefit.
2. Trying out new positions
As we jested this morning, Ramos’ tactics had some Spurs fans scratching their heads. Don’t be surprised to see Rafael Van Der Vaart moonlighting at left-back or Guti as goalie.
3. Double Ramos pranks
Real’s jokers will be able to wait until Juande and Sergio are side-by-side, shout “Ramos”, and wait for the double-barrel “Si”.
Well, the first two exclamation marks were merited
Real Madrid’s stars are today gorging themselves on fast food and tapas before their baby food diet kicks in tomorrow (probably). Spurs reject and serial punchline Juande Ramos has been named as the temporary replacement of sacked Real boss Bernd Schuster.
The ex-Sevilla manager, who failed to win a Premier League game with Spurs this season, is charged with turning around Real’s fortunes ahead of a potentially disastrous El Clásico match at Barcelona this weekend. Read more »
Tel takes advantage of the Barca barnet timeshare
Barcelona forward Thierry Henry is sporting a very nice mohican and flick - even though it doesn’t belong to him. When you play your ‘do as simple as Henry, it is nice to be able to rely on your team-mates for a bit of extravagance.
Brazilian left-back’s online encyclopaedia page takes a hit
Real Madrid fans angered by Marcelo costing them points at the weekend did the only thing they could and took their protest to the pages of Wikipedia. Expletives aside, the basic gist was that the Brazilian youngster was not quite up to the standards of Real Madrid’s first-team. For added comedy effect the changes to Marcelo’s Wiki page were made by a user called Cicinho11! Read more »
