Mmm, wedding day kickabout, isn’t it? Veils for goalposts and all that. It looks at first glance like this tiny flower girl is guilty of losing possession to the page boy, and indeed she is, but check out the wild Ryan Giggs Circa 1995 stepover that she pulls off first.
Show off your silky skills, avoid the rampaging animal
This could be the future of the Premier League in these days of on-demand entertainment and short attention spans. Just imagine: “Manchester United have fallen a goal behind here at the Emirates. It looks like Alex Ferguson is preparing to play his Bully Bonus. Yes, the fourth official is signalling that Manchester United are releasing their bull into the Arsenal defence.”
Cameroon international grabs mouthy fan
The Official Espanyol Supporters Club is calling for goalkeeper Carlos Kameni to never play for the club again after he allegedly threatened a supporter during a training session. The Premier League transfer target is reported to have turned on a fan named David after being heckled during training. The fan is said to have approached Kameni and yelled at him not to bother renewing his contract with the club.
The precise nature of the player’s response is a little blurry, with some sources claiming he asked the fan if he wanted to die and others reporting that Kameni asked the fan whether he wanted him to die. Goal claims the 24-year-old grabbed the fan by his shirt and shouted: “What, you want to die? I am a professional. Respect my work. Respect me!” Read more »
Official sends off all but three players
Players from Spanish outfits Recreativo Linense and Saladillo de Algeciras might want to book their seats early for the coach trip to their next league disciplinary hearing - they are going to be in demand. Their match descended into chaos as 19 players were sent-off.
A brawl broke out in the 54th minute after a Recreativo player was dismissed, with players and fans involved. The referee abandoned the game before paying a visit to the changing rooms and dishing out nine red cards to each team.
Jeff’s geography lessons
Soccer Saturday presenter and all-round legend Jeff Stelling had a momentary blip on Saturday when he seemed to suggest that Crewe was an independent country. As far as we were aware, the Cheshire town was still part of the United Kingdom but it sounds like Jeff has bestowed independence upon it.
He said: “Millwall have had a great start to the season domestically, but they are not doing so well today against Crewe.”
We thought Crewe were a domestic side for Millwall, but we bow to Jeff’s superior knowledge.
Bayern Munich visit Dubai zoo
“Urgh! What is that?! Put me back in my cage. Now!”
Bayern Munich have been preparing for their money-spinning friendly with AC Milan in the United Arab Emirates with a laidback trip to the zoo in Dubai. Franck Ribery took the opportunity to scare the residents with his ugly mug.
You just wouldn’t catch the Premier League’s finest playing Debbie McGee like this! Bayern Munich and Germany left-back Philipp Lahm was the star performer on Germany’s Stars in der Manege as he became a magician’s assistant for the day, much to the amusement of an onlooking Bastian Schweinsteiger. Watch and ponder just how the motorised device doesn’t cut Lahm to shreads (this one won’t require Jonathan Creek to solve!).
Injured winger abuses nurses who cared for his broken leg
Oxford United youngster Sam Deering has been fined by his club after calling the nurses who treated him in hospital “f***ing Pakis” on the social networking site Facebook. The 21-year-old was receiving treatment for a broken leg sustained in a match against Salisbury on Boxing Day.
The winger changed his Facebook status to: “Sam is not very amused in this hospital bed, so bored!” This prompted a friend to comment: “Hope you have got some sexy nurses looking after you.” Deering then replied: “Nah, there [sic] f***ing pakis LOL.”
The comment could be seen by more than 1,000 of Deering’s Facebook friends. Read more »
The stadium will take pride of place in the sidebar for the next 12 months, and just like Spurs we want you to name it. Our normal advertising charges will go out the window and we will accept bids instead. So if you want to big-up your blog, pimp your website or break your fruit and veg shop into the football market, this could be the opportunity for some very reasonable advertising. A link to a website of your choice is also included, of course.