Video: Paul Merson doesn’t think Manchester City should pay for penis
Rob Parker | December 3, 2009
Soccer Saturday pundit awards City a free-cock
And there we were thinking they only fielded expensive ones.
Revealed: Darron Gibson is Sir Alex Ferguson in disguise
Rob Parker | December 2, 2009
The Sun reveals secret Man Utd ploy
The lid has finally been lifted on one of football’s best kept secrets - Sir Alex Ferguson regular turns out for Manchester United in the guise of ‘Darron Gibson’. Originally thought to be one of the club’s brightest prospects for the future, the so-called Gibson is in fact the [...]
Wilson Palacios will miss Spurs’ match at Portsmouth because he is under government orders to PARTAAAY!
Rob Parker | October 16, 2009
Mr Palacios, a message for you from the Ministry of Fun
Tottenham will face Portsmouth without midfielder Wilson Palacios this weekend because he has stayed in his native Honduras to party. We know that Latin American footballer returning late from international duty after bender is like so totally a cliché, but this story has a twist.
Palacios [...]
John Barnes set to reprise his World In Motion rap
Rob Parker | October 13, 2009
Digger ready to hold and give but do it at the right time
Former Tranmere boss John Barnes has already had offers of employment flying in. But unsurprisingly they don’t involve him managing a football team.
Instead, the ex-Liverpool and England man is preparing to re-record his famous rap for a revamped version of World In Motion [...]
Sven Goran Eriksson appointed at Notts County!
Rob Parker | July 22, 2009
Beware ladies of Nottingham: Svennis is coming
OTP did give you the heads-up on this one yesterday, but I don’t think we expected the rumour to become reality. And yet Sven Goran Eriksson has been appointed at Notts County in a director of football post. Long-term ally Tord Grip also joins the Magpies’ payroll.
So to clarify: [...]
Real Madrid player slams new galactico era, shows ounce of common sense
Rob Parker | June 16, 2009
German defender talks sense
When your club is throwing £80million here and £62million there on new players and breaking the world transfer record becomes an almost daily activity, it is easy for a player to get carried away.
Not so for Real Madrid defender Christoph Metzelder who seems genuinely disgusted at the way his club is conducted [...]
Newcastle put up for sale by email
Rob Parker | June 9, 2009
If you’ve got £100 million and a Hotmail account, Magpies could be yours
Newcastle owner Mike Ashley has proved once and for all that he has less class than the knee-high white Donnay socks he flogs at Sports Direct by putting the club up for sale by email. A statement on Newcastle’s official website (talk about [...]