Kieron Dyer - the only decent piece of business Newcastle have ever done?

Rob Parker | February 9, 2010

West Ham’s financial woes summarised neatly by ex-Magpie

Newcastle’s transfer dealings over recent years have hardly been awe-inspiring. The process has usually involved paying over the odds for a player, watching them flop and leave on the cheap, or watching them do pretty well and selling them for less than was originally paid for them.
Kieron Dyer [...]

Premier League Name Translator: #10 Lewis Gooddeath

Rob Parker | February 8, 2010

Cutting through the exotic monikers of Premier League imports so you can judge the player, not the name

Throughout his career in England, the West Ham striker has battled against cruel accusations that his name was in some way related to a dead snake. It is not. Unless the snake in question had one helluva death.
That’s [...]

Premier League Name Translator: #9 Alexander Diamond

Rob Parker | February 4, 2010

Cutting through the exotic monikers of Premier League imports so you can judge the player, not the name

This is precisely the reason why OTP has set up the Premier League Name Translator. West Ham splash out a reported £6 million to bring in an Alexander Diamond from Livorno when they could have got one from [...]

Robbie Savage gets smacked by a ball while commentating

Rob Parker | January 19, 2010

Carlos Cuellar dishes out a healthy dose of karma

Derby midfielder and all round irritating so-and-so Robbie Savage was hit in the face with a ball while commentating on Aston Villa’s game at home to West Ham. Co-commentator John Murray has about as much concern and compassion as BBC Radio Five Live’s average listener (that’s zilch, [...]

West Ham 1 Weatherman 0

Rob Parker | January 12, 2010

Hammers match against Wolves should not have been called off

West Ham’s game against Wolves last weekend was wrongly called after an incorrect weather forecast. The match was postponed on Saturday when more snow was predicted for Sunday. But the snow did not arrive and the area around Upton Park was virtually clear of snow and [...]

Video: Dean Ashton finds standing on bouncy mounds with your eyes closed doesn’t always save your career

Rob Parker | December 11, 2009

All the best, Deano

West Ham striker Dean Ashton has announced his retirement from football at the age of 26. OTP sends its best wishes to Dean - a very good striker who is popular with neutrals and opposition fans simply because he always comes across as a genuine nice guy.
This video shows Dean battling his [...]

Video: Tomasz Kuszczak’s ridiculous goal celebration

Rob Parker | December 7, 2009

The reason why Polish goalkeeper will not be competing for gymnastics gold in 2012

Manchester United keeper Tomasz Kuszczak very nearly let his side’s fourth and final goal against West Ham on Saturday come and go with the understated celebration it deserved. But something made him decide to put on a bit of a show for [...]