Off The Post

Dean Windass uses ITV column to generate transfer

Rob Parker — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 09:17:27 +0000

Veteran striker’s online moaning to get loan move

Hull City benchwarmer/throw-in nuisance Dean Windass has discovered that the pen can be just as mighty as his fists in his old age and used his column on the ITV website to speed up a move away from the club.

Windass has made no secret about his frustration at the lack of Premier League playing time he has had. As early as September, Windass used his column to moan: “I’m getting more and more frustrated about not being involved.”

The 84-year-old has used his first instalment since the transfer window opened to dramatic effect to speed up the transfer process. The column read: “It’s fair to say I’m getting very frustrated and I have no idea what is happening with my situation as the manager hasn’t spoken to me for three weeks. I’m not saying that to try and grab a headline, he’s got other priorities like trying to run a football club, but simply to show how uncertain things are for me.

“As ever I’m training hard, biting my lip and getting on with things. I’ve said it so many times over the season but I just have to be ready if I’m called upon.”

We will pause briefly at this point to spend a few seconds pondering precisely how bitching on the website of one of the country’s biggest broadcasters constitutes biting your lip…

After minor grumbling noises coming from Phil Brown’s direction Hull reportedly decided they had better issue a statement, but before they had time to do this Windass is said to have updated the blog to announce that he was considering moving to Hartlepool United on loan. Hull were forced to change tack and they announced that Windass was free to leave.

And now Hartlepool United boss Chris Turner has revealed there is little chance of him signing Windass, the player has updated his column to say “watch this space”, and it all looks very messy!

Spotted on Soccerlens

Football Lookalikes: Jermain Defoe and Oliver Twist

Rob Parker — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 08:23:47 +0000

Please, sir, can I have some more money?

One’s an orphan who escapes the shires to return to London to make money in a pickpocket gang, the other’s a footballer who pickpockets his club to return to London to have his wicked way with Chinawhite’s female patrons.

Football video: Flower girl shows off her silky skills

Rob Parker — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 07:54:40 +0000

Stepover magic from a three-year-old

Mmm, wedding day kickabout, isn’t it? Veils for goalposts and all that. It looks at first glance like this tiny flower girl is guilty of losing possession to the page boy, and indeed she is, but check out the wild Ryan Giggs Circa 1995 stepover that she pulls off first.

Spotted on Dirty Tackle

Football video: Jermain Defoe’s return to Spurs parade and interview

Rob Parker — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 00:34:44 +0000

Jermain’s big comeback

We know how strongly Tottenham fans feel about players who string along and betray their clubs. That is why Portsmouth turncoat Jermain Defoe was subjected to a barrage of homophobic and vindictive abuse at White Hart Lane last night. Or not.

Defoe was presented on the pitch before Spurs’ 4-1 Carling Cup victory over Burnley last night. He also gave an interview explaining the reasons for his return. Pompey fans: choose your own doses of salt to take it with!

David Beckham makes his AC Milan debut against Hamburg

Rob Parker — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:35:44 +0000

Goldenballs’ long-awaited bow

America’s greatest export since democracy has made his debut for AC Milan. David Beckham made his first appearance since his loan move from LA Galaxy in a friendly against Hamburg. The match ended 1-1, with Milan winning 4-3 on penalties. Becks passed a late fitness test to start the match before being withdrawn at half-time.

Pineapple Express

Rob Parker — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 18:04:32 +0000

Click advert make website live

Jermain Defoe’s FA Cup sicknote

Rob Parker — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 13:12:38 +0000

Tottenham-bound striker’s legit excuse

Being a bit of a cynic, it was a relief to see that Jermain Defoe has not being screwing Portsmouth and undermining the value of the FA Cup. Now that Tottenham have had a bid for the 26-year-old accepted, they have released Defoe’s sicknote to prove there were no underhand tactics afoot.

Click the image to enlarge.

Football video: Big Fat Ronaldo is not fit yet

Rob Parker — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 12:47:40 +0000

The most entertaining training session ever

Corinthians knew they had made a big signing when they secured the services of Ronaldo, but they are only just discovering quite how BIG. The rotund one is struggling to shift the weight he piled on during his injury layoff and is left jogging round behind his team-mates like the fat kid at school on a cross country run. Watch the video above for a sneaky look at his muffin top belly.

Spotted on 101GreatGoals

When football meets bullfighting (or footbull if you prefer)

Rob Parker — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 09:56:27 +0000

Show off your silky skills, avoid the rampaging animal

This could be the future of the Premier League in these days of on-demand entertainment and short attention spans. Just imagine: “Manchester United have fallen a goal behind here at the Emirates. It looks like Alex Ferguson is preparing to play his Bully Bonus. Yes, the fourth official is signalling that Manchester United are releasing their bull into the Arsenal defence.”

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Football video: Nutmegged by a corner flag

Rob Parker — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 09:33:59 +0000

The new trick all the cool kids are doing

The ease with which this trick is pulled off (ie the statuesque defenders) plus the fact that there only seems to be four players on the pitch suggests that this trick is probably set-up, but it is impressive nonetheless. And it’s a good job the corner flag is sturdy and stuck into the ground well!

Spotted on 101GreatGoals