Lionel Messi and his kitchen roll contracts

Rob Parker | September 22, 2009

How Joan Laporta keeps his stars happy

With Barcelona star Lionel Messi signing a new deal that extends his contract from 2014 to 2016 and makes him the highest paid player in La Liga, cult Catalan football comedy show Crackovia could not resist showing its version of the negotiations.
I don’t think you need the lingo to [...]

Which British band pumped-up Barcelona to do the treble?

Rob Parker | May 29, 2009

Coldplay, apparently

Yes, you read correctly. It seems Pep Guardiola’s secret weapon as his side won the Champions League was non other than master gloomy pop merchants Coldplay. The band, previously unable to uplift so much as the dust from their guitar amp, were Barca’s motivational music of choice.
The track Viva La Vida has been pumped [...]

Video: Ryan Giggs and Thierry Henry’s Reebok viral

Rob Parker | May 27, 2009

Mainly promoting manly fun, Apple, courier services and books

Ah, bless. I’ve been rooting for these two to get it together for years. This new Reebok viral is supposed to show Giggs and Henry psyching each other out ahead of tonight’s Champions League Final. To be fair, they are just flirting with each. Knowing smiles as [...]

More Chelsea-Barca spookiness: Andres Iniesta scored a late winner against Chelsea 10 years ago

Rob Parker | May 8, 2009

And guess who was delighted to be watching from the touchlines?

Following Andres Iniesta’s last-gasp winning goal against Chelsea on Wednesday night, the Spanish press have raked up this spooky video from a decade earlier. The footage comes from a Nike Cup match involving Barcelona’s youth team.
Iniesta, then aged 16 but pasty as ever, fires home [...]

Video: Lionel Messi’s delayed noseache

Rob Parker | April 20, 2009

Just how many seconds does it take before the pain of a ball to the face hits you?

Barcelona star Lionel Messi had his renowned boyish good looks threatened when Getafe defender Mario Alvarez planted a clearance right on his conk. The Argentine initially appeared to be made of sterner stuff, looked around and pointed at [...]

Samuel Eto’o turns steward to thwart Jimmy Jump

Rob Parker | February 3, 2009

Serial pitch invader’s plans to make history scuppered

Crazed Barcelona uber-fan and pitch invading legend Jimmy Jump had to shelve plans to grab the 5000th La Liga goal after being taken into custody by Samuel Eto’o. Jimmy, who famously handed Thierry Henry a Barca shirt while he was still at Arsenal, was apprehended and marched off [...]

Thierry Henry in pregnancy shocker!

Rob Parker | December 8, 2008

Barca hat-trick hero up the duff

Not only has Thierry Henry had to hand over the best part of £10 million to his ex-wife, the French striker also has the added expense of a new little baby on the way.
The former Arsenal man could not hide his bump as he celebrated a hat-trick in Barcelona’s [...]