Who’s gonna end up with who?

Right, so Juande has got the hots for Didier, who obviously impressed him with his inch-perfect passing during their Tottenham days (that doesn’t sound right). He would like to move him into his new pad in Madrid. But he also quite likes Lassana, who apparently has impressed him from afar (just not quite as much as Didier). He wouldn’t mind taking him to Madrid either.

Tottenham don’t want to lose Didier (we don’t know why), but if they did happen to have him wooed away from them by a suave Spaniard they would love to get together with Lassana. Lassana, according to Juande, is not quite as good at his job as Didier but Tottenham probably like him a bit more and think will fill the void just fine.

Could get messy…

A guide to the coming season for Real’s players

1. Baby food
Once Ramos gets his nutritional regime in force he is sure to welcome Antonio ‘Dr Baby Food’ Escribano to his backroom staff to feed Real’s players on his mushed up vegetables and vitamins. Shame Ronaldo isn’t back at the Bernabeu to feel the benefit.

2. Trying out new positions
As we jested this morning, Ramos’ tactics had some Spurs fans scratching their heads. Don’t be surprised to see Rafael Van Der Vaart moonlighting at left-back or Guti as goalie.

3. Double Ramos pranks
Real’s jokers will be able to wait until Juande and Sergio are side-by-side, shout “Ramos”, and wait for the double-barrel “Si”.

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Juande ‘Square-peg‘ Ramos’ Real debut

Well, the first two exclamation marks were merited

Real Madrid’s stars are today gorging themselves on fast food and tapas before their baby food diet kicks in tomorrow (probably). Spurs reject and serial punchline Juande Ramos has been named as the temporary replacement of sacked Real boss Bernd Schuster.

The ex-Sevilla manager, who failed to win a Premier League game with Spurs this season, is charged with turning around Real’s fortunes ahead of a potentially disastrous El Clásico match at Barcelona this weekend.
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Courtesy of the ever-excellent Guardian Gallery

Team selection the Tottenham Hotspur way!

Even beleaguered managers need social networking

This hilarious Facebook feed shows exactly what Tottenham boss Juande Ramos has been up to while he should have been sorting out his squad. It seems the under-fire Spaniard is yet another victim of social networking site addiction. Click the picture to make it BIGGER.

Spotted on The Spoiler

Spurs visual gag #324668

You see what they did there? They took a Spurs shirt and they made a joke about Juande Ramos’ side’s lack of points. Very cruel. Quite funny.

Let them eat cake

Spurs players have taken their dislike of Juande Ramos’ nutritional regime further by revolting against their baby food diet. Tottenham cakes are now the favoured snack at White Hart Lane. Apparently despite a tasty appearance, Tottenham cakes are quite hard to swallow and have left some fans with a bad taste in their mouths.

Spurs stars worried relegation is being handed to them on a plate

Tottenham players are blaming their poor form on the strict dietary restrictions placed on them by manager Juande Ramos. The Sun reports that Spurs players believe a lack of food is sapping their energy during games.
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What have you done Juande to make you feel proud?

This headline from the Telegraph’s website proclaims that: “Juande Ramos has restored Tottenham’s pride.” It only goes to show how quickly things can turnaround in the cut-throat world of football. The story was written just eight months ago in February.

Spurs fans might be divided on who to blame for their current situation, and whether or not Ramos should be fired from his post or given more time, but few would say they are proud at sitting at the foot of the Premier League.