Well, he got paid at least

Need to make yourself feel like a better footballer? Simply take Real Madrid goalkeeper Iker Casillas, stick him in front of an 18 metre by 7 metre goal and blast penalties past him to your heart’s content. You can even take him for a consolatory beer afterwards if you like, just like in this new advert for Mahou.

A guide to the coming season for Real’s players

1. Baby food
Once Ramos gets his nutritional regime in force he is sure to welcome Antonio ‘Dr Baby Food’ Escribano to his backroom staff to feed Real’s players on his mushed up vegetables and vitamins. Shame Ronaldo isn’t back at the Bernabeu to feel the benefit.

2. Trying out new positions
As we jested this morning, Ramos’ tactics had some Spurs fans scratching their heads. Don’t be surprised to see Rafael Van Der Vaart moonlighting at left-back or Guti as goalie.

3. Double Ramos pranks
Real’s jokers will be able to wait until Juande and Sergio are side-by-side, shout “Ramos”, and wait for the double-barrel “Si”.

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The FA has told the Spanish Federation that a forthcoming friendly match between England and Spain will not take place in Madrid because of fears England’s players would be subjected to racist abuse.

The last time the two teams met in a friendly at the Santiago Bernabeu in 2004, Ashley Cole and Shaun Wright-Phillips were taunted throughout a bad-tempered match.

The FA’s director of communications, Adrian Bevington, said: “We are currently in talks with the Spanish Federation. The FA were clear from the outset that we would not play the game in Madrid due to racial abuse we faced in 2004.”

Quite what the FA is expecting to find away from one of the country’s most cosmopolitan cities we are not sure… A reminder of what happened last time around after the jump.
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Party at Liverpool goalie’s house

The Spain national football team’s sponsor, lager Cruzcampo, promised every member of the squad their weight in beer if they made it past the quarter finals of Euro 2008. The team well and truly kept its side of the bargain, and Cruzcampo has now delivered too. The players had a special weigh-in to decide how much booze they would each get. Tipping the scales at 95kg, and walking away with the most beer, was Liverpool goalkeeper Pepe Reina. Little Santi Cazorla only got 66kg worth, but he probably gets drunk quicker anyway!

How to take out your competition for that national team spot

Behold, the champions of Europe. The Spanish national team’s euphoria at winning Euro 2008 seems to have regressed their players to school age. Under the tutelage of Señor Del Boque, training sessions are just like playtime!

Spotted on ONTD Football via The Spoiler.