Roman Abramovich set to treat Chelsea to some Real Madrid-esque spending

I see your Kaka and Ronaldo, and I raise you… Sturridge and Turnbull

Chelsea fans must be wondering where it all went wrong for them. Real Madrid are set to unveil Kaka today… as a pre-cursor to their biggest signing of the summer. The new moneybags in the Premier League, Manchester City, are bickering with Samuel Eto’o about how many oilfields he needs, or something.

Meanwhile at Stamford Bridge, rumours abound that Chelsea are about to snap up their galacticos pairing of Daniel Sturridge and Ross Turnbull. Sounding a bit like a downmarket department store in a northern town, Sturridge and Turnbull will join from Manchester City and Middlesbrough respectively.

It’s all a far cry from the days of throwing £30 million on a reserve team striker, £16 million on a cokehead and about £100 million on a pick-and-mix assortment of Portuguese defenders.

Disclaimer: We know Yury Zhirkov is set to sign too – it’s a bit of fun.