Bet’s be ‘avin you: Football betting tips for 5-6 February
A German double, some Football League filthiness, and an ode to our broken land
Had to take inner city public transport this week. I don’t mean that in an “I’m royalty, I couldn’t possible mix with the unwashed” way, I just don’t do it much. In fact, I am the unwashed. There was some school kids blaring music out and generally abusing their fellow passengers, whether for weight or general demeanour. I remember a time when kids just used to be ‘pesky’. Now they are illiterate and offensive. In a country that is wilfully oblivious to the clear deficit of intelligence, an alarming mantra remains: ignorance is still very much considered bliss.
£10 on Manchester City at -1.5, West Ham and Tottenham gets you £70
I wrote a poem called ‘Ignorance Must No Longer Be Considered Bliss’. I know what you’re thinking, I’m a northern man, addicted to booze and unhappiness, what the hell am I doing writing poems. To tell you the truth, I think I had been on the rose wine. Anyway, i’ll give you a glimpse of my melancholy mind with two verses. It’s a cheerful read, I’m sure you’ll agree: The NHS is crumbling, obesity is the key; I’m 18 stone and grumbling, burger and chips for me. Punching with their fists clenched, kicking with their feet; another tracksuit army, spitting in the street. She’s 13 and she’s pregnant, she loves her boyfriend Wayne; he’s left her so she’s lonely, another life down the drain.
£10 on Gillingham, Torquay and Chesterfield all to win gets you £54
Big football news this week focused on the Officially Mentally Challenged Transfer Deadline Day. Three things that your favourite punter enjoyed most:
* Harry Redknapp leaning out of a car window giving his opinion on players like he was flicking through a pack of porno cards bought on the continent
* Sky Sports presenter leaving White Hart Lane after 13 hours of shit all, only for Spurs to try and poach Charlie Adam
* Liverpool buying Andy Carroll for £35million for that. They could have bought Blackburn Rovers for that money
£10 on Bayern Munich and Hertha Berlin both to win at -1.5 gets you £55
£5 on Hull and Rotherham to win gets you £24
£5 on Ipswich, Leicester and Leeds to win gets you £24