Top 10 Euro 2012 conclusions: Germany 1-2 Italy
1. Balotelli emerged as undisputed champion in the battle of the Super Marios. Two goals from the Manchester City man were enough to secure victory for Italy.
2. He picked up a cheap booking for taking his shirt off. OTP was hoping he’d have a ‘Vy alvays me’ t-shirt to display. Instead he seemed to have some adidas sponsorship on his back in the form a three stripe tape.
3. Forget acclimatisation and meaningless friendlies: a good old pre-tournament match-fixing scandal is what you need. Italy have worked it perfectly. And they made a killing at the bookies on Mesut Ozil as last goalscorer.
4. This average Italy side don’t seem to be too shabby after all.
5. Bastian Schweinsteiger is destined to spend the next few weeks wondering why he chose to make the last kick of the game a short pass down the line rather than a lump into the box.
6. Mesut Ozil is the perfect penalty taker. It’s so easy for him to give the goalkeeper the eyes.
7. Friday training sessions are going to be fun at Manchester City next season. It turns out that flicking his ears brings out Balotelli’s best form.
8. Once again Andrea Pirlo ran the show. He’s definitely earned his oxygen mask.
9. Uefa will have to investigate another sponsorship stunt. Royal Caribbean must have paid for Germany to name Kroos and Boateng on the teamsheet.
10. OTP likes to imagine that a well-oiled Roy Hodgson is propping up a bar somewhere telling the landlord: “We took that lot to penalties with a clean sheet, you know?”