Portsmouth help Jermaine Pennant to settle in
HMP Fratton Park
How do you help Jermaine Pennant to feel at home during his loan spell at you club? Easy, simply lock him in a darkened room by himself with just a narrow crack of light allowed in. Slap an electronic tag on him and send him out on the park for your next match. He should be getting crosses cut out by the first man in no time.