Mark Lawrenson’s Comedy Column
The great predictator
Friday now becomes my favourite day of the working week (of course it was anyway) as I wait with anticipation for Lawro’s musings. I imagine him, fingers moving thoughtfully through moustache, surveying the football scene like a baron looking over his acres.
Matter not, it’s verbal faeces again this week:
Manchester City v Birmingham
“After last year’s brilliant campaign they’ve (Birmingham) found it a bit more difficult, and goals have been a problem for them so far.”
Goals scored by Birmingham last season – 38 in 38 = 1.00 goals per game
Goals scored by Birmingham this season – 14 in 12 = 1.17 goals per game
Newcastle v Fulham
“There have been teams that have gone to St James’ Park and won quite comfortably which before the start of the season you wouldn’t have predicted”
Has there been teams that have gone to Newcastle and won comfortably? They have lost three home games this season. Against Blackburn with eight minutes to go. Against Stoke with five minutes to go. And against Blackpool conceded a sencond goal in the last minute after having thirteen shots on target to Blackpool’s four.
Tottenham v Blackburn
“I can’t believe that Tottenham got booed off at the weekend”
It was Tuesday (edit: someone at the BBC has noticed the gaffe and it has been changed)
West Ham v Blackpool
“However, I really do think that if Blackpool went there and won then, I wouldn’t just fear for West Ham, I would say, “you know what, they’re going to go down”
Well in Lawro’s prediction league, West Ham are sitting in eighth place.
Everton v Arsenal
“They have lost Marouane Fellaini because of his red card against Bolton, but they have been without him for much of this season”
Fellaini has played in ten of Everton’s 14 games this season.
Wigan v West Brom
“West Brom made a good start but they are just going through a bit of an inconsistent patch. They just have to keep going though and I think they’ll be fine this season.”
Funny way of showing that you think they will be fine. Below is the bottom of the Premier League as Lawro sees it after thirteen games:
15 Wigan Athletic 13 -11 12
16 Blackburn Rovers 13 -8 11
17 Fulham 13 -8 11
18 Bolton Wanderers 13 -10 11
19 Blackpool 13 -13 8
20 West Bromwich A 13 -14 7
That’s only a point more than Derby had in 2007/8!