Top 10 conclusions Premier League weekend 5-6 March
1. Rarely can a hat-trick scored by a striker have been quite so unexpected as Dirk Kuyt’s treble against Manchester United. Both the player and the opposition in question make it a hugely improbable chain of events.
2. It appears that Arsene Wenger must have monopolised all the Get Out Of Jail Free cards at the start of the season.
3. Sir Alex Ferguson really is a big baby. There were no controversial decisions in the match and it wasn’t even close. His team was comprehensively outplayed. He could at least have the grace to face the media after the game.
4. Winning the Carling Cup final gives you a worse hangover than losing the Carling Cup final. Just.
5. Liam Ridgewell and Paul Scharner’s penalty area Greco-Roman wresting was undoubtedly the most homoerotic moment of the weekend. At one point it seemed like they would quite happily grapple each other for the rest of the match as play went on around them.
6. Gary Cahill showed none of the reservations some players have about scoring/celebrating against a former club. In fact, he enjoyed sticking it to Aston Villa so much that he did it twice.
7. It’s a great shame that Demba Ba didn’t create the rolling-around-clutching-your-knee-in-front-of-Tony-Pulis goal celebration.
8. Although they paled into insignificance in comparison with the tragic loss, there had been concerns that the emotional pre-match tribute to Dean Richards would put on a dampener on Wolves v Spurs. Instead it turned out to be a very fitting footballing send-off to Deano.
9. Nani is probably wishing he had invested in a decent pair of shin pads.
10. Luis Suarez must have had a good game for Liverpool because I found myself clapping my arms in a seal-like fashion towards the television after most of his touches.