Top five conclusions: Manchester United 2-1 Chelsea
1. Roman Abramovich is going to end up a lonely Russian spinster forced to live without knowing the joys of owning a Champions League trophy. Will the latest defeat teach him that patience is a virtue? No, he’ll probably sack the manager and throw another £100m at it.
2. The uber-confident Fernando Torres has finally been taken down a peg or two. His half-time substitution and Carlo Ancelotti’s implied acknowledgement that he was wrong to start the Spaniard was just what he needed.
3. Edwin Van Der Sar is only retiring as a goalkeeper at the end of the season. He’s signed up as a left-back for the next campaign.
4. Wayne Rooney seems to be doing the exact opposite of last season, when he was in scintillating form before it all fell apart around April. Now he seems to be getting to his best at just the right time.
5. The win was particularly sweet for Sir Alex Ferguson and Rooney, who were both out on day release before returning to their domestic punishments. No word yet on whether the FA made them wear electronic tags.